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"Books make great gifts because they have whole worlds inside of them. And it's much cheaper to buy somebody a book than it is than it is to buy them the whole world . . ."
--Neil Gaiman

Dearest Mick--

It is so good to be home. Chip, my loyal manservant, and I had a horrible experience on your side of the pond before we left for Napoli. We were guests on a television show about books with two idiotic hosts named Droner Bill and Dummy D. I was so upset by their uncouth comments that I nearly had Chip unclip my microphone, throw it down in disgust, and wheel me off the stage without so much as a how-do-you-do. Truly wretched business.

In fact, their questions were so farcical that I never had a chance to expound on what I found to be some of the most disturbing trends in the book industry. First of all, I find titles with the F-word in them to have grown quite tiresome. Granted, it was clever the first time in Adam Mansbach's Go The F**k To Sleep (9781617750250) 14.95, but by the thirtieth title it is not that particularily amusing anymore. In my day, one would only hear sailors and football coaches use that kind of language on a regular basis.

The other trend I find abhorrent is the explosion of 'erotica' in the marketplace with the success of E.L James' Fifty Shades of Grey (9780345803481) 15.95. When I was your age, the only people advertising their own sexual proclivities were Masters & Johnson. And we liked it that way. But now you have books like Reflected In You (9780425263914) 15.00 by Sylvia Day pushing their own degenerate agendas for all the world to see. I am sure these books will sell once again for Valentines Day, but as Roman Consul Laenas once said to King Antiochus IV, "I am drawing a line in the sand." By gum, it is just common decency.

Chip and I were taking a break from trying on our matching dog and dog catcher costumes when your Christmas package arrived via the parcel post. I would like to thank you for your gift of wine; Chip assures me that our cats will enjoy it. Unfortunately, as a Liberal, you probably believe that Boones Farms' Country Kwencher is a good vintage. It is not. However, your choice of books for me was much better. I will enjoy Jared Diamond's The World Until Yesterday (9780670024810) 36.00. In the fifties, you may recall, I mentored Jared at Harvard. Also, I see my good friend W.E.B. Griffin has written a new book with his son called Empire and Honor (9780399160660) 27.95. I do love his spy books. You may not know that I worked with 'Wild Bill' Donovan at the OSS during WWII. Thank you again, Mick.

Warmest Regards,
Charles Edmund Wilson III


Odds & Sods

Personally, I did get a couple of great titles for Christmas. On Bill Cusumano's recommendation, I asked my wife for David Potter's Constantine The Emperor (9780199755868) 34.95. I know, I can see your eyes glazing over even as I mention it, but it makes me happy and it really is safe to have around the house as long as you store it in a humid room, so it won't spontaneously combust due to its inherent dryness. The other book Santa brought me was Dan Wakefield's Kurt Vonnegut Letters (9780385343756) 35.00, which I must admit is a bit more fun. But then aren't all of Kurt's books -- except for Galapagos (9780385333870) 15.00. For some reason that one was tough sledding.

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"Twas a cool Yuletide evening, and I wandered the stacks, shelving multiple titles that the patrons brought back. We toiled overtime at our library here, 'cause the powers that be cut our staffing this year . . ."
--David Davis, Librarian's Night Before Xmas

And now the conclusion to . . .
STONER BILL'S WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP

Like three bumps on a log, Doctor Delay, Stoner Bill, and Henry, Stoner Bill's younger brother, sat on an embankment overlooking the twisted and tangled remains of a '74 Ford Pinto. It lay, upside down, in a tiny crevasse near a two lane highway. Double D's car looked like Godzilla had thrown it down in anger and then stepped on it for good measure.

Henry broke the ice, "Well, I have a few bumps and bruises, but we survived."

Bill piped in, "Maaaan, that thing is unsafe at any speed."

Double D sighed, "Bill as much as I enjoy your attempts at pop culture references, 'unsafe at any speed' refers to the Chevrolet Corvair and Ralph Nader's book documenting its dangers. In the case of the Ford Pinto, its design flaw was a gas tank that tended to explode upon impact."

Bill began, "Dude, I am so glad that didn't . . ."

*KA-BOOM*

" . . . happen."

Double D shook his head, "Whoa, that really sucks. There goes all my new books that I just bought at Boswells. I was really looking forward to reading David Nasaw's The Patriarch (9781594203763) 40.00, which was about Smokin' Joe Kennedy. And now I won't get to enjoy the comedic stylings of Stephen Colbert in his America Again (9780446583978) 28.99. Or my copy of Proof of Heaven (9781451695199) 15.99. That doctor dude had incontrovertible proof that Heaven actually exists. And now I'll never know for sure and it's all your fault!"

"Well, it's not like I didn't lose anything. Jason at Boswells had just given me the ARC for Dick Wolf's Intercept (9780062064837) 27.99, which releases next Wednesday. And you know what a Law & Order nerd I am . . ."

"Oh yeah!" said Doctor Delay.

"Yeah, dude!" retorted Bill. And then Bill lunged at Double D and tackled him to the ground. As they wrestled in the dirt like two-year-olds on a playground, Henry could hear the clarion call of klaxons in the distance.

Henry shouted, "Guys, we should get out of here! Hey, guys!"

They stopped wrestling and the Doctor said, "Dude, that's the first smart thing I've heard you say this whole trip," he turned to Bill and added, "You owe me a car."

Bill got up and brushed himself off, "Whatever. I do have one question for you tho'. What in the hell am I doing in a Bavarian beer girl's outfit?"


Odds & Sods

William 'The Smoking Man' Davis' Wheat Belly Diet (9781609611545) 25.99 has shown no signs of letting up any time soon (especially with diet season coming up), but now it's only going to get worse. His new cookbook, the aptly entitled Wheat Belly Cookbook (9781609619367) 27.99 is here. I'd order a few copies in . . .

I know there's no hockey season this year, but we are still selling Rob Simpson's Winged Wheel (9781118144282) 34.95 and H.W. Kondras' Detroit Red Wings (9781935628248) 9.95 very well. I miss hockey and I hope Gary Bettman gets a big lump of coal in his stocking.

Fans of The Wheel of Time series will enjoy seeing this video for the release of A Memory of Light, which features Tom Doherty, Harriet McDougal, and Brandon Sanderson discussing the final chapter in Robert Jordan’s epic fantasy.     

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"In our glorious fight for civil rights, we must guard against false slogans, such as 'right to work.' It is a law to rob us of our civil rights and job rights . . ."
--Martin Luther King

THE NO FRILLS HOLIDAY BESTSELLER UPDATE

Here's the thing:

Frank Marciuliano's I COULD PEE ON THIS (9781452110585) 12.95

We are getting some copies later this week. Of course it's from Chronicle Books, so our order has been cut in half. After this batch, it's questionable whether we will see any more before Christmas. I seem to recall during the summer that they hired a new person to streamline their shipping. I'm happy to see that it has worked out well . . .

THE CHEW (9781401311063) 19.99 by The Chew et al

The publisher is expecting stock on 12/18, so the forecast on this one is not very optimistic either. We should have stock on Friday or Christmas eve . . .

Anne Lamott's HELP THANKS WOW (9781594631290) 17.95

We should have more stock on this surprise bestseller by 12/18. Hopefully this is true, I need one for my grandma's present . . .


Back in stock today:

Peter Carlin's BRUCE (9781439191828) 28.00

'The Boss' never goes out of style. About 30 years ago, I vaguely recall seeing him live at Joe Louis arena on the Born in the USA tour. I think the show lasted like three days or something . . .

Willie Nelson's ROLL ME UP & SMOKE ME . . . (9780062193643) 22.99

The book by Stoner Bill's favorite author has also been a surprise bestseller. We've already sold out twice, so get on the bus before we're out again . . .

Eben Alexander's PROOF OF HEAVEN (9781451695199) 15.99

This title has been a bit of a conundrum for me. If a belief in God and Heaven is based on faith, why would I need proof?

Jim Holt's WHY DOES THE WORLD EXIST? (9780871404091) 27.95

To torture me. Duh!

You'll thank me later . . . (Nine shopping days left until the world ends.)


Odds & Sods

The other Beck guy, the singer / songwriter, has a new book called Song Reader (9781938073380) 34.00 and it is out of stock at the publisher until after Christmas. We have a few copies left . . .

Jake Tapper's Outpost (9780316185394) 29.99 is back in stock. It is a true story of wartime American valor . . .

I was saddened to learn that Ravi Shankar had passed away. You may recall that his band plays at the beginning of a Concert for Bangladesh and a Concert for George. Yeah, I know, I fast forward through his sets too. But if he meant that much to George Harrison, he must have been a good man . . .

Happy Aaron Rodgers Day!

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"Weirdness is not my game. I'm just a square boy from Wisconsin . . ."
--Willem Dafoe

STONER BILL'S WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP

Hours after the fire had been put out by the Racine Fire Department, little pinwheels of dirty black smoke and the stink of burnt plastic still surrounded the melted carcass of the '74 Ford Pinto that lay dead in the ditch. From the skid marks, it looked like the car had careened off the road and had fallen nearly twenty feet before it exploded in a giant fireball.

A Wisconsin state trooper at the scene held a rag to his mouth to keep out the stench and said to his partner, "Lou, there's no way anyone could have survived that. How many bodies do we got?"

Lou replied, "It's still too hot to poke around in there, but I found this near the road. I guess it's a diary. It says Wreck This Journal (9780399161940) 15.00."

He flipped it open and started reading:

Day Six--

My big brother Bill is a big, fat jerk. He's been threatening to lock me in the trunk again. I don't know what's wrong with him. Both the Big Jerk and his dog Lucy are wearing matching Bavarian beer girl outfits that they bought at the National Brewery Museum in Potosi. It's very disturbing. At first, bar patrons would be abusive when they walked in with their matching costumes. But the Jerk soon learned to shout 'Go Pack!' and carry the book Lombardi's Left Side (9780983695264) 26.95 with him as a prop, and then everyone would leave them alone. But seriously, it's still embarrassing for me.

And Double D isn't even talking anymore. While he's driving (which is most of the time), he's wearing one of those hats that holds two cans of beer and you can drink it through a tube. I really don't think this is legal -- even in Wisconsin. Bill and Double D are still on their quixotic quest to visit every brewery in Wisconsin's Best Beer Guide (9781933272344) 16.95. They also want to do Bottoms Up: A Toast to Wisconsin's Historic Bars & Breweries (9780870204982) 29.95, but realistically, I pray and I hope, they won't have enough time to do both of them. And don't even get me started on the copy of Pabst: An Excavation (9780985672508) 60.00 that the Bavarian barfly has been using as a foot rest. He read about it in the Milwaukee Journal, so he just had to have one. I guess the one cool thing is that some of these bars have book clubs. The Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery has one, and they're doing the new Oprah Book Club book, The Twelve Tribes of Hattie (9780385350280) 24.95 by Ayana Mathis.

Whoa, I just looked out the window and Double D is driving on the wrong side of the road. Holy crap, there's a car coming right at

Rumor Mill

To no one's great surprise, Chris Ware's Building Stories (9780375424335) 50.00 is out of stock until after the holidays. We have a limited quantity of this New York Times Notable Book in the stash . . .

Every year there are a handful of titles in the regional holiday catalog that, well, never show up. This year one of them is Linn Schmidt's Grandma's German Cookbook (9780756694326) 22.00. The publisher is out of stock until April. "Das ist not gute Schmidt."

Mike Link & Kate Crowley's Going Full Circle (9780942235234) 18.95 is out of stock at the publisher until after Christmas. We still have copies available. After they're gone, you're on your own if you plan on hiking around Lake Superior . . .

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"Literature is a textually transmitted disease, normally contracted in childhood . . ."
--Jane Yolen

THE NO FRILLS HOLIDAY BESTSELLER PARTNERS PAGE

Today I'm not talking about great literature like Ian McEwan's Sweet Tooth (9780385536820) 26.95, or outstanding non-fiction writing like David Foster Wallace's Both Flesh and Not (9780316182379) 26.99. Instead, I'm featuring titles that I feel (viewed from my unique vantage point) are necessary to keep in stock for a successful holiday season. First of all, I am going to start with a few semi-surprising bestsellers. Secondly, we'll move on to some cashwrap goodies, and finally, I'll top it off with the latest hot movie tie-in titles.

SEMI-SURPRISING BESTSELLERS

AGENDA 21 (9781476716695) 26.00 by Glenn Beck

Ignore the ridiculous premise and the fact that El Becko's last few titles have been total duds, this one is selling if you can get it into the 'right' hands.

HELP THANKS WOW (9781594631290) 17.95 by Anne Lamott

Anne's usually a solid seller, but I believe this is the right book at the right time with the right price. And doggone it, she's a darn good writer to boot.

BRUCE (9781439191828) 28.00 by Peter Carlin

Still beloved by Baby Boomers everywhere (who have money to spend). With Mr. Springsteen on tour right now, the timing on this one couldn't be better.

ROLL ME UP & SMOKE ME WHEN I DIE (9780062193643) 22.99

Willie Nelson with co-author Kinky Friedman (?) celebrates the things he loves and shares his innumerable stories from the road. Sign me up.


CASHWRAP NO BRAINERS

UNDERWATER DOGS (9780316227704) 19.99 by Seth Casteel

If the photos in this book do not bring a smile to your face, you have no soul.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR CAT . . . (9781449410247) 14.99 by The Oatmeal

This one sold well out of the gate, and it's showing no signs of slowing down.

I COULD PEE ON THIS (9781452110585) 12.95 by Frank Marciuliano

The quintessential cashwrap item. I laughed out loud reading these poems.



HOLIDAY MOVIE MAYHEM

LIFE OF PI (9780547848419) 15.95 by Yann 'The Hammer' Martel

I've seen the trailer for this one twice now and it looks visually stunning.

TEAM OF RIVALS (9781451688092) 21.00 by Doris Kearns Goodwin

The movie Lincoln is based on the book. I saw it & I give it two thumbs up.

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER (9781451696196) 14.00

I think this movie has run it's course, but the book keeps on plugging along.

THE HOBBIT (9780547844978) 13.95 by J.R.R. Tolkien

What can I say? I've kept myself alive to see this movie.


Odds & Sods

If you are a store in Michigan, Steve Smallman's brand new Santa is Coming to Michigan (9781402275395) 9.99 and Susan Collins Thoms' The Twelve Days of Christmas (9781402763519) 12.95 are two Christmas titles that you should be stocking. I would order them before the pubisher is out for the season . . .

For Minnesota stores in the Twin Cities area, I would recommend Frederick Johnson's The Big Water: Lake Minnetonka and its Place in Minnesota History (9780578110134)29.95. As Prince might say, "Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?"

Stoner Bill will be back next week in 'Wisconsin Death Trip.'

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"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read . . ."
--Groucho Marx

THE CONTINUING STORY OF STONER BILL

I'm walking down the street to Double D's house with my little brother, Henry, and my new beagle puppy, Lucy, in tow. The good Doctor and I had a great plan to take the new 2nd edition of Wisconsin's Best Beer Guide (9781933272344) 16.95 by Mr. Revolinski and take a tour of their finest establishments. It sounded like a foolproof scheme. However, my Mom had added several stipulations and much to my chagrin, they are both following me now. My little brother is like ten or twelve years old, and he's wearing a pink -- oh I'm sorry -- a salmon colored button down shirt, gray slacks, and dress shoes. He sucks. Now Lucy is as cute as the dickens. She might, however, be a logistical nightmare.

In more ways than one, Double D's baby blue '74 Ford Pinto is all fired up. First of all, it's running. Yay! Second of all, I open the creaky passenger side door, and smoke spills out of it like Spicoli's van in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. We're engulfed in an aromatic hazy fog. Nice.

Double D's like, "Dude, what's up with the entourage?"

"Well, I thought Henry here could be our designated driver . . ."

Henry interjects, "I don't have my driver's license yet."

" . . . and Lucy here is a hound dog so she can sniff out the good bars for us."

Double D chuckles, "So your Mom made you bring them. Whoa, what's in the duffle bag?"

"Dude, I brought all kinds of cool reading material for Lucy. Let's see here. We got Seth Casteel's Underwater Dogs (9780316227704) 19.99. It's mostly pictures, but Lucy is just a puppy so I thought she would like to look at 'em. I got Robin Layton's A Letter to My Dog (9781452114422) 24.95. It's mostly celebrities writing to their dogs. I'll have to read that one to her. Oooo, here's a good one: Bruce Cameron's A Dog's Journey (9780765330536) 24.99. It's got a beagle on the cover. And finally, The Oatmeal's How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You (9781449410247) 14.99 because Lucy needs to learn how nefarious those creatures can be. What'd ya bring?"

I sling the duffle bag into the back seat, nearly hitting Henry. Man, I'm a terrible shot.

Double D points to two books at my feet on the floor mat, "I figured we'd be partying a lot so I just brought Robin Sloan's Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore (9780374214913) 25.00, which is kinda cool 'cause it takes place in a bookstore, and Jon Meacham's Thomas Jefferson (9780374214913) 35.00."

"Well, why don't you get in the back so you can read them and let Henry drive?"

Henry complains, "I told you I don't have my driver's license yet!"

Man oh man, this is going to be a long trip.


Odds & Sods

With the plethora of new books about Detroit coming out, it won't be long until the Motor City has its very own section in every fine bookstore. Dan Austin's new one Forgotten Landmarks of Detroit (9781609498283) 22.99 has just come in. He had previously written Lost Detroit (9781596299405) 24.99, which was a snappy little seller last holiday season. Mark Binelli's Detroit City is the Place to Be (9780805092295) 28.00 was also recently released. In this title, Mark tries to figure out where it all went wrong. Good luck on that . . .

W. Paul Young, the guy who wrote The Shack is back with Cross Roads (9781455516049) 24.99. He might just save your afterlife . . .

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"We're living in science fiction, but don't realize it . . ."
--Terry Pratchett

BENJAMIN BUN BUN'S BOMBASTIC BOOK BLOG

THE LANDS OF ICE AND FIRE

George R.R. Martin (9780345538543) 40.00

I haven't been this excited about anything in the whole wide world since Farmer Todd planted a field full of parsley last year. Mmmmm, parsley. I can peek down the spine through the shrinkwrap and see tons and tons of maps inside, and it makes me want to go outside and run around our rabbit hole as fast as I can, over and over again until I tire myself out. Hmmmm, I might wait until Christmas to tear it open. At least that way I'll have one cool present to open. Otherwise I think I'm just getting another stupid button from Santa Claus . . .

Rating: *****

LEONARDO AND THE LAST SUPPER

Ross King (9780802717054) 28.00

THE LOST BATTLES

Jonathan Jones (9780307594754) 35.00

Sometimes when Farmer Todd plants his carrots too close together, they grow together and end up looking like Chang and Eng. These books are sorta like that. The Lost Battles is about both Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo and their competing paintings (which of course, neither one completed) at the Great Council Hall in Palazzo Vecchio. Da Vinci was at the height of his powers and had just finished The Last Supper, which Ross King goes into great detail in this book. Mr. King (watch out Giorgio Tsoukalos) also debunks many of the myths that have sprouted up around this famous biblical painting. But then the real story is even better . . .

Rating: ****

Rating: ****

PROOF OF HEAVEN

Eben Alexander (9781451695199) 15.99

Remember in Richard Adams' Watership Down when the rabbit dies? It's kinda like that but the rabbit comes back to life . . .

Rating: **

Odds & Sods

Last year, it really didn't seem like we had any great selling cookbooks for the holiday season. This year it appears that we have two different ones that are selling well right out of the gate. Ina Garten's Barefoot Contessa Foolproof (9780307464873) 35.00 looks like it's shaping into a good default present for Christmas.

The other cookbook is from the crew at 'The Chew.' The Chew (9781401311063) 19.99 will appeal to shoppers who are casting about for an inexpensive gift for the chef in their life. And finally, another horse in this race could be Rachael Ray's My Year in Meals (9781451659726) 29.99. She has been a proven performer every holiday season. It goes on sale November 13 . . .

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"But the Israelis caution that a bigger threat to Middle East serenity -- not to mention their own country's security -- lies in Tehran, whose regime they say is sure to become a nuclear power in a few years unless stopped . . ." 
--New York Times, November 1992

Dearest Mick--

Chip, my beloved manservant, and I are flying over southern Portugal's Alagarve region in Donald Trump's personal jet as I pen this missive to you. I do believe the big game trophies interspersed between the airplane windows are a bit over the top, but nobody has ever accused him of being parsiminous. Speaking of old friends, I was devastated to learn that my old friend Jacques Barzun passed away last week. He was only 104 years old. I remember him as a fresh-faced pupil back when I was teaching English Lit at Columbia, and I could see his latent potential even then, which I feel was finally realized in his brilliant treatise, From Dawn to Decandence (9780060928834) 20.00.

As I mulled over my memories of Jacques, Chip pulled out some of the treasures that we had acquired at the Heartland Fall ForumTM and spread them across the table. I lifted my head from my revelry, and I was immediately struck by the crisp lines and the shrinkwrap on George R.R. Martin's The Lands of Ice and Fire (9780345538543) 40.00. First of all, I thought to myself, this is the type of book that won't be easily reprinted, and secondly, his fans will be starved for anything by Mr. Martin since it will probably be ten years before he completes his next book. The maps do appear suitable for framing so I'll have my friend Anke Doberauer take a look at them.

I thumbed through several spiritual books, including Proof of Heaven (9781451695199) 15.99 by neurosurgeon Eben Alexander. It seems that the life after death genre has become quite the cottage industry in the book business these days. And as my friend Kurt Vonnegut once said, "It's a mixed blessing to be brought back from the dead". Which reminds me, I really need to have Chip read me Kurt Vonnegut Letters (9780385343756) 35.00. I imagine I would get more practical advice reading one of his letters than a whole shelf of these spirituality books, Michael Singer's The Untethered Soul (9781572245372) 16.95 included.

Speaking of recently departed authors, one of Mr. Vonnegut's progeny, David Foster Wallace, has a new collection of essays called Both Flesh and Not (9780316182379) 26.99. The last few nights, Chip has been putting me to bed with an essay from his book and a hot toddy. It has been delightful.

Well, once again, Mick, I would like to thank you for being such a gracious host while I've been in the States.

Warmest Regards,

Charles Edmund Wilson III

Odds & Sods

I can't think of a better time than Halloween to release Jonathan Rand's latest American Chiller. And apparently, neither can he. As of today, we have American Chiller #36: Carnivorous Crickets of Colorado (9781893699687) 5.99 in stock . . .

I fear Sylvia Day's second book in her Crossfire trilogy, Reflected in You (9780425263914) 15.00 would have been a bit too salty for Charles Edmund Wilson III, so I'm listing it on the sidebar. The first title in the series, Bared to You (9780425263907) 15.00 was a blockbuster, and the second one is shaping up to do the same. (We'd already sold out on the first shipment.)

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"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do . . ."
--Isaac Asimov

1) THE SECRET OF THE UNIVERSE . . . I like to think of myself as a literary ascetic, spreading the gospel of the book to people and places both high and low. From high atop my stylite, I sermonize to the faithful about old and new titles that may slip through your store shelves like a snapped rosary necklace between your fingers. I leave the John Grishams to the big boys. The titles that I've caught, I pass on to you, and one of those books was Hilary Mantel's Bring Up the Bodies (9780805090031) 28.00 which won this year's Man Booker Prize. I'm a bit of an Anglophile, so this one was a no brainer. Hilary won in 2009 for Wolf Hall (9780312429980) 16.00, so with her win we have two books to sell for the price of one. She's still working on the third title in the trilogy, The Mirror and the Light, and hopefully, when it releases, it will bring her the Booker Prize trifecta. Can I get an Amen!

2) MURDER AT THE ABA . . . If you're a wanted man, I suggest you don't hide in a movie theatre that is screening Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged Part Deux. You won't have any other moviegoers to use as cover. The new movie based on Atlas Shrugged (9780451191144) 9.99 has bombed. So unless you're a teen white male or apparently, as I gather from today's Book Brahmin, Nelson Demille, author of The Panther (9780446580847) 27.99, you will eventually learn that Objectivism looks great on paper, but much like Communism, it wouldn't work well in the real world. However, there are some movie tie-ins that you will genuinely need to keep an eye on in the upcoming weeks, including: Antonio Mendez's Argo (9780670026227) 26.95, David Mitchell's Cloud Atlas (9780812984415) 15.00. Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower (9781451696196) 15.00 has been released, but it is still a bestseller...

3) YOUNG MONSTERS . . . And sort of cinema related. The season three debut of The Walking Dead devoured the competition this past Sunday, it had by far the highest ratings ever for a basic cable drama. The ratings may scare the hipsters away, but I must admit that I gorged myself on their gorey smorgasboard of entrails. And we got some new books. We had both the The Walking Dead Compendium V2 (9781607065968) 59.99 and The Walking Dead: The Road to Woodbury (9780312547745) 24.99 shamble in here this past week. Hopefully, this will give me something to sink my teeth into until next week's episode . . .

On this day in Byzantine History (October 18)
In 1081, the Byzantine Army was defeated at the Battle of Dyrrhachium by Normans led by Robert Guiscard.

Odds & Sods

We have some new regional titles for your perusal. For Cleveland Browns fans, we have former defensive back Handford Dixon's Day of the Dawg (9781598510928) 14.95 in stock. Handford lives in the Westlake and he does local commentary for high school football.

Speaking of football, we have yet another new Green Bay Packers title, Lombardi's Left Side (9780983695264) 26.95 by defensive linemen greats Herb Adderley and Dave Robinson. With a forward by Bill Cosby, it isn't too much of a leap to see this as a Wisconsin bestseller.

Also, we have received Gavin Schmitt's Milwaukee Mafia (9780738594439) 21.99, which is the latest offering in Arcadia Publishing's Images of America series.

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"While we live according to race, colour or creed
While we rule by blind madness and pure greed
Our lives dictated by tradition, superstition, false religion
Through the eons, on and on . . ."
--Queen, Innuendo

THE 1ST ANNUAL HEARTLAND FALL FORUM RED CARPET

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to welcome you to gorgeous downtown Minneapolis for the 1st Annual Heartland Fall Forum with your celebrity host B. Traven Jr. He needs no introduction, but you may recall Mr. Traven as the star of Ancient Aliens and of course, as the host of the new In Search of . . . He's already on the red carpet, so let's send you over there.

B. Traven, Jr (holding his Bob Barker microphone): Thanks Jack. B. Traven, Jr. here. I am holding court outside the Renaissance Depot Hotel. I am literally being blinded by the flashing bulbs of the papparazzi and the attendent galaxy of stars that have congregated here for THE gala event of the book industry. (He cranes his neck and semi-whispers into the mic). Let's see who is within earshot. Ah, there's Owen Laukkenan, author of The Professionals (9780425250495) 9.99 . . . Hey Owen! Man, you look like you're really going for that professor look. You have the tweed jacket there with the patches on the elbows, blue jeans, and comfortable shoes. The only thing you're missing is the Sherlock Holme's pipe. Ha, ha! How ya doing?

Owen Laukkenan: Hey B., good to see you. My head's still spinning. I just flew in from a mystery convention in Cleveland. I'm doing the awards today and then I fly back to Cleveland for the last day of their convention.

B. Traven Jr: And boy, will your arms be tired. Ha, ha! Well, I'm glad you could make it. Hey, have you seen Chad Harbach, author of The Art of Fielding (9780316126670) 14.99 or Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild (9780307592736) 25.95? They're the big winners of this year's MIBA Awards. No? Well heck, I'd even settle for Garrison Keillor. I could use some of his folksy witticisms right about now. Ha, ha! Oh, there's Mick from Partners. Mick, over here!

Mick: Hello, Mr. Traven. It's great to be here. I don't know if you know this . . . and I'm giving you an exclusive. The Partners East web site is up and running. The address is http://www.partners-east.com . After you get your user name and password, you can look up books by author, subject, and title. You can create lists in these categories and best of all, you can order your books on-line. In fact, if you order 25 or more confimed books, you'll get a 42% discount. It's the best of all worlds.

Odds & Sods

Our good friend Cory Doctorow popped in here Monday to sign copies of his new YA title, Pirate Cinema (9780765329080) 19.99. As per usual, it's first come, first served . . .

Budd Lynch, voice of the Detroit Red Wings passed away yesterday. We still have copies of his autobiography My Life: From Normandy to Hockeytown (9780966412086) 19.95 in stock. We have also received a new book he would have treasured. Rob Simpson's The Winged Wheel (9781118144282) 34.95 is chock full of full-color glossies from cover to cover. Budd you will be sorely missed . . .

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"Put down that weapon or we'll all be gone
I must know something to know it's so wrong
And it happens to be an emergency
Some things aren't meant to be
Some things don't come for free . . ."
--Midnight Oil, Put Down That Weapon

1) SOMEBODY'S TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING . . . "To the choppah!" Let's face it, no matter how you feel about Arnold Schwarzenegger (and I must admit I am no longer much of a fan), we all love to quote his movies in a thick pseudo-Germanic accent. Total Recall (9781451662436) 35.00 is his new autobiography. From the mean streets of Thal to his philandering days as the Govunator, his book recounts how he finally attained Horatio Alger's Austrian dream. I'm not sure who is buying this title, but it is selling well. Now, Neil Young is on the opposite end of the spectrum for me. Neil is someone I have always admired and respected, and his new one is called Waging Heavy Peace (9780399159466) 30.00. I just received my reading copy, and I can't wait to crank up a Crazy Horse album, burn some incense, and dive right into it. Finally, on the autobiography front, we have chicken franchise entrepeneur Kenny Rogers' Luck or Something Like It (9780062071811) 27.99. I don't know much about Kenny, except for snippets from the song The Gambler, his ill-fated liposuction, and his short-lived variety show (which by the way, did feature the band Badfinger lip-synching Baby Blue). All in all, he seems like a fairly amiable fellow, and of course, he's brushed elbows with some of country music's greatest stars. I'm sure he has some interesting stories to tell and it should be a decent seller . . .

2) SOMEONE ELSE TO BLAME . . . GLiBA has announced its Fall 2012 Great Lakes Great Reads titles. They are as follows:

Fiction: Jami Attenberg's The Middlesteins (9781455507214) 24.99
Nonfiction: Hans Weyandt's Read This: Handpicked Favouites from America's Indie Bookstores (9781566893138) 12.00
YA / Independent Readers: Gary D. Schmidt's What Came From the Stars (9780547612133) 16.99
Picture Book #1A: Sarah Stewart's The Quiet Place (9780374325657) 16.99
Picture Book #1B: Philip & Erin Stead's Bear Has a Story to Tell (9781596437456) 16.99

And so it goes . . .

On this day in Byzantine Empire History (October 5)
In 610 A.D., Emperor Heraclius was crowned for a second time, this time in the Chapel of St. Stephen, and at the same ceremony he married Fabia.

Odds & Sods

So far this season, Denard Robinson and the Michigan Wolverines football team have been underwhelming. However, Jill thought I should mention Michigan Football: The History of the Nation's Winningest Program (9781600787652) 24.95 by The Michigan Daily. And they should still be in the hunt for the Big Ten championship . . .

The beautiful and vivacious young adult author Maggie Stiefvater dropped in on Friday to sign our copies of The Raven Boys (9780545424929) 18.99. As usual, with autographed books, it's first come, first served.

"I'll be back."

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"Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!"
--Lewis Carroll, Jabberwocky

1) BEHIND BLUE EYES . . . I like Greek mythology as much as the next guy, but Rick Roirdan has made a career out of it. The third installment of his Heroes of Olympus series, The Mark of Athena (9781423140603) 19.99 will hit the stores on October 2, and then it will hit the bestseller lists shortly thereafter. This title immediately reminded me of this old chestnut from the rock band The Who:

Athena, Odysseus knew how much he'd need her
On the acropolis, Pericles could not heed her
Paris' heart starts palipating when he thinks of Helen's sarong
But the Greeks will get along
She's just a girl -- she's a song
She's just a girl -- she's a song

Sorry Pete, I took a few liberties with your lyrics, but that's how I roll. The first two titles in the series, The Lost Hero (9781423113461) 9.99 and The Son of Neptune (9781423140597) 19.99 were YA blockbusters, so order accordingly. I mean, like, listen to these totally awesome comments from his readers:
Alex Pulaski: Phaa! i cant wait must hav book!!!!!

Fred S Carmer: I loved the other two and very excited for this one!!!!

Anna: CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO COME OUT!

Sofia: Iv been waiting for ages for this to come out and its only October im soooo syced its tooo cool ps i wonder what annabeth has as a secret

I saw an article about how this year the US has the lowest scores on the SAT in the history of the test. These comments did not convince me otherwise . . .

2) WON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN . . . Some ancient astronaut theorists believe that Rick Riordan is to this generation what J.K. Rowling was once to the last YA generation. However, the JK has taken a break from diving around like a porpoise in her vault of money to write the book that none of her fans really wanted. The JK is all growed up now and has written her first adult novel, The Casual Vacancy (9780316228534) 35.00. "Holy Hogwarts Batman, there are all kinds of naughty words in this book!" As the JK explains, "The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best (sic), and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle class so funny." Yeah, your new social class isn't pretentious at all; it's perfectly normal in this day and age to walk around with a sceptre in hand and a crown on your head. You will sell some copies on her name recognition alone. It goes on sale September 27 . . .

Odds & Sods

I was excited to stumble upon Greg Woolf's Rome: An Empire's Story (9780199775293) 29.95. I've always been more of an Roman Empire than a Roman Republic guy, and this is the perfect book for me and the other 87 people in the US who are fascinated by this topic.

I was disappointed to learn that the closest Lawrence Norfolk, author of John Saturnall's Feast (9780802120519) 26.00, is coming to Michigan is Chicago. I don't get it. Michigan is home to more great bookstores than there is space available to list, and yet, they can't fit any of those stores into his schedule. Hey publishers, there's more to the book world than L.A and New York! Sheesh.

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"Language exists less to record the actual than to liberate the imagination . . ."
--Anthony Burgess

Channel 13 Community Access TV Presents: BOOK TALKERS
(Camera pans Double D's basement and settles on Stoner Bill and Double D sitting in comfortable chairs. The theremin heavy theme song of the original Star Trek plays in the background.)

Double D (In his best William Shatner imitation): Books. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Booker Prize. Its continuing mission, to explore strange new literature. To seek out new titles and new corporate sponsors. To go where no author has gone before . . . (laughs) Bill has this year's shortlisted nominees and their respective availability at Partners Books:

Stoner Bill: Hilary Martel is no stranger to the Booker Prize. She won in 2010 for Wolf Hall (9780312429980) 16.00 and this year she has been nominated for its sequel Bring Up The Bodies (9780805090031) 28.00. We have plenty of stock in the warehouse. Speaking of strange, no one is stranger than Will Self. He's been nominated for Umbrella (9780802120724) 25.00, which won't be published on this side of the pond early unless he wins. Lastly, we have a list of authors that I've never even heard of, including: Tan Twan Eng for Garden of Evening Mists (9781602861800) 15.99, which is in stock, Jeet Thayil for Narcopolis (9780143123033) 16.00, which has been moved to an October 16 release date, and Alison Moore for The Lighthouse (978190777174), which, again, won't be published over here unless it wins. Dudes and dudettes, I can sum this list up with one word: Booooooooring!

Double D: Dude, nobody is asking you for your opinion. Just stick to the script. Now, you've probably ticked off all these authors so that they'll never come on our show. None of these intellectual writers, well, excepting Will Self, has any semblance of a sense of humor. I mean we could have had Salman Rushdie on this week to promote his memoir Joseph Anton (9780812992786) 30.00, but there you were making stupid fish jokes about his name, and he cancelled.

Stoner Bill: Dude, this has really turned into a drag. I'd rather talk about Kij Johnson's At the Mouth of the River of Bees (9781931520805) 16.00. For the last three years, she's won the Nebula Award for short stories, and after reading this book I can see why. Instead, we do this literary bonehead stuff . . .

Double D: And don't even get me started on how many sponsors for our show that you've lost for us over the years. I'm not even sure what the Man company makes, but we're probably blacklisted from purchasing their widgets now. Whatever. We're out of time. We may or may not see you soon on Book Talkers.

Odds & Sods

You may remember Vic Eichler, Ph.D. as the author of such diverse titles as Morel Mushrooms in Michigan (9780970362056) 11.95 and Peter & His Pet Petoskey Stone (9780970362049) 5.95. Now he's back on the rocks again with Charlevoix Stones (9780970362063) 9.95. It's a smallish chapbook of about 30 pages with full colour photos. It's the perfect size to take on your next rock hunting expedition . . .

For beer connoisseurs, we are distributing Paul Bialas' new photography book, Pabst: An Excavation of Art (9780985672508) 60.00. If Ansel Adams had chosen to do black and white photos of abandoned breweries, it would have looked a lot like this title . . .

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"As flies are to wanton boys, are we to the Gods; they kill us for their sport . . ."
--William Shakespeare, King Lear

From Rick Riordan's THE DEMIGOD DIARIES (9781423163008) 12.99

Dear Diary--

Whew! What a busy day! I have to admit that this Twelve Labours thing is getting out of hand. I had to clean out the Augean Stables in one day. And who knew that 1,000 immortal cattle could produce so much dung in thirty years? And don't even get me started on the smell. Ugh! So I just re-routed the Alpheus and Peneus rivers right through the stables and it washed the dung out. Before I started, I had made a bet with the king (I would get a hundred head of his cattle) that I could do this Labour in one day. He, of course, said I cheated so I had to kill the king (again!). I did put his kid in charge before I left, but I'll probably have to kill him someday, too . . .

My Bucket List (First draft)

Read Strengthfinder 2.0 (9781595620156) 24.95. I probably can't count on this demigod gig forever.

Visit Whiskey Island (9781938441097) 24.95. Les Roberts told me that a good whiskey is always better than a fine wine.

Need to find a reliable Time Keeper (9781401322786) 24.99 for the Olympic Games I just founded. I don't think Mitch Albom is the guy.

Learn to dance so I can have A Dance with Dragons (9780553801477) 35.00. Why should George R.R. Martin have all the fun?

Solve The Beautiful Mystery (9780312655464) 25.99. I'm not so good with thinking so I'll ask Odysseus to help me. He isn't doing anything anyway.

Try The Wheat Belly Diet (9781609611545) 25.99. I need to get my six-pack abs back in shape.

Find The Light Between Oceans (9781451681734) 25.00. I believe it has something to do with the Lighthouse at Alexandria.

Slay The Creature From Jekyll Island (9780912986456) 24.50. According to this Edward Griffin, this will cause a lot of trouble in the future.

Find out about The Ares Decision (9780446618786) 7.99. Apparently, this Kyle Mills is a seer for the Gods.

Go to the Heartland Fall Forum in Minneapolis on October 3-5.

Oh, and finish my Twelve Labours . . .

--Heracles

Odds & Sods

Unless you've been living under a rock in a GEICO^TM commercial, I'm sure you've heard about the brouhaha surrounding former Navy Seal Mark Owen's new book No Easy Day (9780525953722) 26.95. In case you hadn't, the commander of U.S. Special Forces condemned the book yesterday which, of course, gave it even more publicity. We are sold out, but we are expecting a bindery shipment early next week. You might want to place a backorder to hold your place in line.

Justin Bieber's new book Justin Bieber: Just Getting Started (9780062202086) 21.99 comes out September 13. I have no idea why it's releasing on a Thursday either.

Get more on the web at www.partners-east.com . . .

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"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws . . ."
--Douglas Adams

Channel 13 Community Access TV Presents: BOOK TALKERS
(Camera pans Double D's basement and settles on Stoner Bill, Double D, Chip, and Charles Edmund Wilson III sitting in comfortable chairs.)

Stoner Bill: Hey Dudes and Dudettes! Welcome to Book Talkers with your hosts, Me and Double D. Our guests are Charles Edmund Wilson III and his manservant Chip . . . (Stoner Bill looks bewildered and asks in a whisper, "Is that even legal in the U.S.?") . . . joining us as our guests. Mr. Wilson will receive the, um, Cyril M. Kornbluth Memorial Award for his contributions to the, um, genre at this year's Chicon 7, the 70th World Science Fiction Convention in Chicago. My question to you, Mr. Wilson: Will be there be fans dressed up as Elvish babes at this convention, and if so, can you get us in?

Charles Wilson: Humph. Well, my dear boy, I served with J.R.R. Tolkien in The Great War. We were shoulder to shoulder at the Battle of the Somme. Of course, if you had done your homework, you would know that he is long since dead. However, the list of authors who will be attending is impressive. My dear friend, George R.R. Martin, author of A Dance with Dragons (9780553801477) 35.00 will be there. China Mieville, author of Embassytown (9780345524508) 16.00, John Scalzi, author of Redshirts (9780765316998) 24.99, Paolo Bacigalupi, author of my personal favourite, The Windup Girl (9781597801584) 14.95 and The Drowned Cities (9780316056243) 17.99, and the lovely Mira Grant, who wrote Blackout (9780316081078) 9.99 will all be in attendence. I expect it to be a smashing success . . .

Stoner Bill: Blah blah blahbity-blah. You still haven't answered my question . . .

Double D: Mr. Wilson, just ignore him. I know, as well as being a writer, you have been on the publishing end of things, too. Do you have any thoughts on this year's Midwest Booksellers Choice Award winners?

Charles Wilson: The winners are all fine titles. I saw that Chad Harbach's The Art of Fielding (9780316126670) 14.99 won for fiction, Cheryl Strayed's Wild (9780307592736) 25.95 won for non-fiction, Brian Selznick's Wonderstruck (9780545027892) 29.99 won for children's literature, and Loren Long's Otis and the Tornado (9780399254772) 17.99 was the winner for children's picture book. However, it is hard for small publishers to get any kind of publicity these days, and I wish they had chosen more titles that were not from major publishers.

Odds & Sods

Speaking of smaller presses, we have received Aaron Stander's latest Michigan mystery The Cruelest Month (9781478358145) 15.95. Sheriff Ray Elkins is back, and he may have yet another murder to solve on Lake Michigan's shore . . .

Also, we have copies of Kathy-jo Wargin's The Legend of Sleeping Bear (9781886947351) 17.95 back in stock . . .

Finally, if you are interested in more book news and you would like to learn more about titles Partners is featuring, I suggest you take a peek on the web at www.partners-east.info .

Charles Edmund Wilson III and I hope to see you at the Heartland Fall Forum . . .

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"If man devotes himself to art, much evil is avoided that happens otherwise if one is idle . . ."
--Albrecht Durer

1) RHINOCEROS . . . Lawrence Norfolk's long awaited new novel (at least by me), John Saturnall's Feast (9780802120519) 26.00 was released this past Tuesday. I'm sure I've rhapsodized to you before in the Partners Page about Lempriere's Dictionary and The Pope's Rhinoceros, two of his previous novels. They are respectively #1 and #2 in my Top Ten novels of all-time. Unfortunately, between the baby and the BBC (The Boring Book Club), I haven't had a chance to sink my teeth into it yet. This is the type of book that you want to slowly savor like a bottle of 1865 Chateau Lafite. Not that I'm not enjoying the BBC, we are just finishing up The American Revolution (9780812970418) 13.95 by Gordon S. Wood, which has led me to Rory Raven's tasty treat Burning of the Gaspee: Revolution in Rhode Island (9781609494780) 19.99 from The History Press. I had no idea that American patriots burned the Gaspee and shot its British commander in 1772 near Newport, R.I. Interesting stuff . . .

2) FEAST OF THE ROSARY . . . Man, it's almost lunchtime, and I'm starving. Another History Press title, Bill Loomis' Detroit's Delectable Past (9781609496364) 19.99 is an excellent book on the local eateries and eats of the Detroit area, and just flipping through its pages is making me hungry, too. Also, we have done well with William Decker's first two titles, Asylum for the Insane (9781933926049) 50.00 and Northern Michigan Asylum (9781933926254) 50.00. He now completes his trilogy of Michigan's state run mental hospitals with Upper Peninsula Hospital (9781933926445) 60.00. This hospital for the mentally ill was located in Newberry in the UP, and it closed in 1992. This book shouldn't be swept beneath the rug of history . . .

3) YOUNG HARE . . . Dog books are huge right now, and we are stocking one, Ghost! Field Journal of a Bird Dog (9781933926438) 18.95 by Captain Tony Petrella that purports to be the true story of Manistee River Ghost, one of the greatest bird dogs of northern Michigan. Hunters from the every part of the world came to marvel at this English Setters' phenomenal hunting skills. And no woodcock or grouse was safe for the last 14 seasons. Ba-ba-ba-bird-bird-bird, and the bird is the word . . .

4) KNIGHT, DEATH, AND THE DEVIL . . . First there was Gauntlgrym (9780786958023) 7.99 and then Neverwinter (9780786960279) 7.99, which was recently released in paperback, and now R.A. Salvatore's Charon's Claw (9780786962235) 27.95 is the the third volume in his Neverwinter saga. My friends, Drizzt Do'Urden is back and the body count has never been higher . . .

Odds & Sods

I wanted to let you know that William Kent Krueger's latest Cork O'Conner title, Trickster's Point (9781451645675) 24.99 comes out next Tuesday, and we're already getting quite a few backorders. You know the drill . . .

Jussi Adler-Olsen's first title in the Department Q series, The Keeper of Lost Causes was a surprise bestseller, and now the second book, The Absent One (9780525952893) 26.95 also releases next Tuesday. Not a lot of backorders on this title, but this one might be under the radar . . .

We do have Adam Gamble's Good Night Michigan (9781602190542) 9.95 back in stock . . .

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"We'll see. The [Second] Amendment does not apply to weapons that cannot be hand-carried -- it's to keep and 'bear', so it doesn't apply to cannons -- but I suppose there are hand-held rocket launchers that can bring down airplanes, that will have to be decided . . ."
--Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia

1) MASK OF COMMAND . . . Star Wars never goes out of style. I saw a commerical for a new show called 'Collection Intervention' and there was a brief snippet on a person whose entire house was filled with Star Wars memorabilia. At first, I thought it was about my brother's home, but then they showed the guy (surprise!) and it wasn't him. Whew! Fortunately, publishers caught on to this a long time ago, and from Alan Dean Foster to Timothy Zahn, there has never been a dearth of new titles. However, I have a couple of newish quirky ones that have captured my interest. First of all, we have received Star Wars Origami (9780761169437) 16.95 by Chris Alexander. It has 36 paper projects for the aspiring paper engineer, but it also includes a little quiz after each project, which I found to be really enjoyable. Also, we have 'Darth Vader in a box.' Cronicle Books' Darth Vader: Together We Can Rule the Galaxy (9781452108506) 19.95 consists of a Darth Vader figurine in the classic 'choking pose', a display stand, and a 48-page illustrated book. Yeah, I've already bought one. Finally, we have Tom Angleberger's latest in his kid's series Origami Yoda, and it's entitled The Secret of the Fortune Wookiee (9781419703928) 12.95. The first two books, The Strange Case of Origami Yoda (9780810984257) 12.95 and Darth Paper Strikes Back (9781419700279) 12.95, are still good sellers, too. If you don't stock these titles, Darth Vader may just show up and say, "I find your lack of faith . . . disturbing."

2) THE PRICE OF ADMIRALTY . . . You may never have heard of M.L. Stedman, but his debut book, The Light Between Oceans (9781451681734) 25.00 is already turning a few heads. It is the latest B&N Recommends title, the reviews are glowing, and we have already sold out. Backorder accordingly . . .

3) THE FACE OF BATTLE . . . In the last Partners Page, I'm sure you thought I was heavy on the hyperbole when I said that all my favourite authors were dying off at an alarming rate. You would be wrong. One of the greatest military historians, John Keegan has gone up to that 'big battlefield in the sky.' I thoroughly enjoyed his seminal work The Face of Battle (9780140048971) 16.00 and I still believe that The First World War (9780375700453) 16.00 is the best overview of The Great War in print. And then Robert Hughes, author of the best history book on Australia, The Fatal Shore (9780394753669) 17.00 has passed away, too. I've always wanted to visit Australia, and his book was a large part of the reason why. His latest title was Rome (9780307268440) 35.00. Who, I ask, will replace them? Sylvia Day?

Odds & Sods

Oprah is doing some sort of spirituality thing again, and she's using the book Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself (9781572245372) 16.95 by Michael Singer as a template. We have some copies in the stash . . .

Up in these parts, Joseph Heywood is one of our most popular authors, and we have copies of Red Jacket: A Lute Bapcat Mystery (9780762782536) 24.95 in stock. Suspiciously, the plot sounds like it is loosely based on Michigan's own 1913 Italian Hall tragedy. Or as Woody Guthrie called it: The 1913 Massacre. Steve Lehto's Death's Door (9781879094772) 19.95 is a non-fiction account of this disaster.

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"It is by no means an irrational fancy, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream . . ."
--Edgar Allan Poe

1) THE RAVEN . . . James Patterson, the bestselling author of the 21st century, has partnered with one of the greatest writers of the 19th century to produce the last book in the Maximum Ride series, Nevermore (9780316101844) 17.99. In this final installment, we join the human-avian hybrids Max, Fang, Dylan, and their lost love Lenore after their wild ride to prevent Armageddon by the diabolically named Doomsday Group. Angel, one member of the flock, is missing, but she is later found perched upon a bust of Pallas by Dr. Martinez, cryptically repeating over and over again, "Nevermore." I don't want to give away any more spoilers, so I'll leave it at that. You can expect the first movie of the Maximum Ride series, Angel Experiment, in movie theatres in May 2013. And as James Patterson would say, "Never poor!"

2) THE TELL-TALE HEART . . . I used to sing John Lennon's Imagine aloud whenever someone ordered Jonah Lehrer's Imagine (9780547386072) 26.00, but alas, nevermore. Mr. Lehrer has been caught fabricating quotes from Bob Dylan in his latest book, and the publisher is withdrawing this title from the market. I'm sure I've misheard some of Dylan's lyrics over the years, but his response to these allegations was very succinct, "Mmmunbe derpa son summi braxon de teway." Also, it was mentioned that Mr. Lehrer had been overly creative with quotes in his earlier works, so he appears to be a serial fabricator and has resigned as staff writer at the New Yorker. To my untrained eye, his problem appears to be a natural compulsion, which should make Daniel Smith's Monkey Mind (9781439177303) 25.00 a required read for him. Mr. Smith has an anxiety disorder, but I believe that it falls under the same purview as an obsessive-compulsive. His title has picked up in the past few days, and it is blurbed by professional blurber A.J. Jacobs, so bestsellerdom can't be far behind. "Villains" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! -- tear up the planks! -- here, here! -- it is the beating of his hideous heart!"

3) THE PREMATURE BURIAL . . . I was saddened to learn that Gore Vidal passed away. I'm sure the adjective 'cantakerous' will be featured in most of his obituaries. But he was a darn good writer. At least thirty years ago, I read his novel Burr, and I still have a soft spot in my heart for our second Vice-President. I then read Julian, which was about Julian the Apostate, and I have been fascinated with the Roman Empire ever since. And who can forget him in the movie Bob Roberts as the incumbent Democrat senator from Pennsylvania? Boy, that movie was spot on. Alas, it looks like all of the great writers from my youth are moving on. Who, I ask, 'Will replace them?' E.L. James?

Odds & Sods

We have a whole new passel of regional oriented books in stock this week. The new Postcard History title from Arcadia is called Straits of Mackinac (9780738591896) 21.99. by Madeline Okerman Adie. Arcadia has also published a book entitled Hessel, Cedarville, and Les Cheneaux Islands (9780738582863) 21.99 by Deborah Gouin, which covers the history of the area along the southern coast of the Upper Peninnsula. Finally, History Press has released Stephen Wilber's Canoeing the Boundary Waters (9781609497323) 19.99. This title is not so much a guide book as the reminiscences of a man who grew up there . . .

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"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them . . ."
--Mark Twain

Overheard in a bookstore:
"I'm looking for the fourth book in the Fifty Shades series."
"There are only three books in the series."
"No, I've seen it."
"Where'd you see it?"
"At Walmart."
"What was it called?"
"It was called the Fifty Shades Trilogy (9780345804044) 47.85."
" . . . . "

1) THE SIRENS OF TITAN . . . As of a month ago, I had never even heard of Gillian Flynn, and now, her book Gone Girl (9780307588364) 25.00 is atop just about every bestsellers list. As Yakoff Smirnoff would say, "I love this country." To capitalize on this unadulterated frenzy, it may behoove you to stock her first two novels. Gillian's first novel, Sharp Objects (9780307341556) 14.00 dealt with a serial killer running amuck in a Missouri town. In her second one, Dark Places (9780307341570) 14.00, a woman whose testimony had convicted her brother of the grisly murder of their family investigates whether he really did slay their family as part of a Satanic ritual. Now I do understand why Stephen King is such a big fan of her work. It's a bit on the macabre side . . .

2) HOCUS POCUS . . . As of a couple of days ago, I had never heard of Chris Colfer, the author of Land Of Stories: The Wishing Spell (9780316201575) 17.99. I'm not trying to be a hipster here, but I have never watched the Fox-TV's ratings blockbuster Glee, and apparently, Mr. Colfer is a cast member, who plays a student named Kurt Hummel. Normally, I would disregard this title right there, but the reviews have been laudatory, and we have already sold out of our first shipment. We received another slurp of books yesterday, and those are almost gone, too. Go figure . . .

3) BLUEBEARD . . . Now I have heard of this guy: George R.R. Martin. What I hadn't heard until Monday was that the paperback releases of A Dance With Dragons (9780553385953) 18.00 trade paper and (9780553582017) 9.99 have been delayed, yet again, until March 26, 2013. I have been told it was delayed to coincide with the DVD release of the second season of the HBO series, which I understand. But hey, Random House, how about a little more advance warning next time so we can at least take down the new release posters, eh?

Odds & Sods

Karen and Darrin Brege had been on hiatus, but they have returned with a vengeance in their sixth installment of their series, Mick Morris Mythsolver: Threatening Thunderbirds! (9780977411986) 6.99. If you have fans of Jonathan Rand's Chiller books, they'll want this one, too . . .

I thought Carl Sams had milked his cash cow, Stranger In The Woods (9780967174808) 19.95, as much as he possibly could, but I was wrong. We are now stocking Creative Learning Activities' Stranger In The Woods Activity Book (9780971269262) 24.95. I will file it on my book shelf next to the 3D book, DVD, stuffed animals, CD, etc.

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*

"You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me. You'll set the dogs on me. Because that's what needs to happen. Because sometimes the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded . . ."
--The Batman, The Dark Knight

THE APHABETICAL ADVENTURES OF BIBLIOMAN
(The Case of the Ancient Alien Astronauts)

I say in a low, raspy voice, "I am the Biblioman. *cough* *cough* Geez, how does Christian Bale do *cough* that? Man, that's really uncomfortable. *cough* Alright, no more of that."

I continue in my normal tone, "Sorry, I am from the Time Tomes on the planet K'leg'usgh. My planet was engulfed by our sun when it went supernova. In the nick of time, I escaped in a rocket ship and eventually landed in Holt, Michigan, on your planet Earth. I soon learned that under your yellow sun, I had acquired powers beyond that of mere mortals. Not only can I read faster than any human being, but my editing skills are second to none. Yes, my friends, I have become the unofficial Defender of Readers Everywhere! I am able to locate a dangling participle at a single glance, I can eliminate a typographical error with a single stroke, and all literary lawbreakers cower in fear before me. I have eradicated many evil doers, such as The Incinerator, The Silverfish, and e-Bookman, with The Elements of Style (9780205309023) 9.95 and The Chicago Manual of Style (9780226104201) 65.00 as my only weapons.

"Working at Partners Book Distributing, my alter-ego Robert Grey, who is not in any way related to the main character in the Fifty Shames of Earl Grey (9780306821998) 13.99, which is a hilarious parody of the Fifty Shades series. As Robert Grey, Sam wanted me to mention that Caryn Mirriam-Goldberg's Divorce Girl (9781888160666) 19.95, which we distribute, is favorably reviewed in the upcoming Publisher's Weekly. I know Divorce Girl sounds like it could be the name of my sidekick, but I have yet to acquire one.

"If I were part of a duo, we would be as big as 1992 U.S. Olympic Basketball team as portrayed in Dream Team (9780345520487) 28.00 by Jack McCallum. I almost invited James Rollins, who stopped in Partners to sign our copies of Bloodline (9780061784798) 27.99, to join me in my never-ending battle against evil, but he already has a very full plate, and crime fighting is not a part-time job.

"My current nemesis is Newsprintman, who you may know as media mogul Rupert Murdoch. He is using his splotchy print powers to blacken the reputations of his enemies. His nefarious scheme must be stopped. I left my Library of Solitude and I leapt across rooftops until I arrived outside the Fox News headquarters. I strode through the front doors, and suddenly a phalanx of his lackeys were upon me like booksellers at a booth full of free ARCs."

Uh, no! Could this be the end for Biblioman!?

Odds & Sods

Well, the good news is that sea piracy is down this year, but the bad news is that we lost a few authors this week. Stephen R. Covey, author of the megaseller 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (9780743269513) 15.95, passed away from injuries sustained in an April bicycle accident. Also, Donald Sobol, who wrote the Encyclopedia Brown series died from natural causes. Our condolences go out to their respective friends and families . . .

Well, football training camp is only two weeks away and Green Bay Packers fans are already convinced that they have won the Super Bowl. To commemorate, we have copies of William Povletich's Green Bay Packers (9780870204975) 26.95.

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"I myself believe that there will one day be time travel because when we find that something isn't forbidden by the over-arching laws of physics we eventually find a technological way of doing it . . ."
--David Deutsch, author of The Fabric of Reality

B. TRAVEN III -- ASSISTANT EXARCH OF MEDIA PERMUTATIONS

I am B. Traven III. I am not from here. I am from the future, far, far in the future. You may recall that my father would often grace the Partners Page with his witty observations as a conspiracy theorist. In my own time, the Corporation has listed him as MIA and he is assumed to be dead. However this cannot be right, as I had not yet been born when he left on his 'last' mission, so thus, he must still be trapped in the 21st century and he will most assuredly return. Heh, heh!

As you may have surmised from his last few transmissions, he was sent backward in time to examine the phenomenon surrounding E.L. James' Fifty Shades series, including: Fifty Shades of Gray (9780345803481) 15.95, Fifty Shades Darker (9780345803498) 15.95, and Fifty Shades Freed (9780345803504) 15.95. From his notes, I believe that he was convinced that there must have been a disruptive anomaly in the space-time continuum for such a poorly written and mundane book to be so incredibly successful. I do know from my futuristic vantage point that Partners is expecting more copies of the last two titles next week. Also, I've learned that they will get the Fifty Shades Boxed Set (9780345804044) 47.85 on Friday the 13th. It sounds like they have a lot of stock tied up in this book. Heh, heh!

Before entering the 'Time Machine', I've had my headjack surgically removed to blend into 21st century society. I've also been innoculated against a litany of diseases that have been eradicated from my time period. And, unlike the Terminator movies, I will arrive fully clothed in New York. Thankfully, I will spare any innocent bystanders the shock of seeing my naked lily white body. Heh, heh!

Belore leaving, I did do some research on my father's contacts and I've reduced his list to the Ancient Aliens guy and media mogul Rupert Murdoch. I have chosen Mr. Murdoch for several reasons, and those being: A) He owns a vid network that is 'fair and balanced'. B) He is the CEO of a book company that produces quality fiction, such as Karl Taro Greenfeld's critically acclaimed New York-centric Triburnia (9780062132390) 25.99, Powell Padget's conversational You & Me (9780062126139) 23.99, and the Richard Ford's bestselling Canada (9780061692048) 27.99. C) Giorgio Tsoukalos from Ancient Aliens is completely off his rocker. (I believe I used that colloquialism right.) Heh, heh!

Next, I find that I have materialized next to Rupert Murdoch himself. Puzzlingly, he is standing in front of an open closet door, and he is holding the chain leashes of two velociraptors. I'm not quite sure what I've stumbled upon, but Mr. Murdoch looks like he has just seen a ghost . . .

Odds & Sods

It is strange how our minds work (or maybe its just mine). We have received two very different books, but they will be irrevocably linked for me. The first one is a collection of poetry by Joyce Benvenuto called A Grand River: Poems for Michigan (9781933272320) 15.95, which conjures up images of growing up in the Motor City. The other one is Scott Lasser's Say Nice Things About Detroit (9780393082999) 25.95, which is a murder mystery, a romance, and a story of redemption, all rolled into one . . .

We also have Laurie Kay Somers' Fishtown (9781933926469) 19.95, which delves into the history and lore of the fishing community in Leland, Michigan . . .

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*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*

"Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose-petal
down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo . . ."
--Don Marquis

1) MY LATEST BOOK PURCHASE . . . I'd finally picked up a copy of The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore (9781442457027) 17.99 by William Joyce, which was the story that inspired the Academy Award winner for best short film, and it made me realize that I have become a huge sentimental sap. Thanks a lot Bill! I once spoke with Bill years ago when he used to frequent a Waldenbooks. He jumped on the phone one day to tell me about some kid's book about leaf people. He sent me a signed copy, (which was destroyed by my children) and I thought that was a nice gesture. And now I find that his latest book is also a kind gesture and thank you to booksellers and librarians everywhere. This little ditty is written to the tune of William Joyce's latest book:

THE FANTASTIC FLYING BESTSELLERS OF JAMES PATTERSON

James Patterson loved suspense. He loved money. He loved tennis.

His life was a book of ghostwriting, one mercenary page after another. He would play tennis every morning, and when he took a break, he would go over the outlines his writers had submitted.

But one day he became upset. How could his ghostwriters write bestsellers if E.L James and her trilogy of titles: Fifty Shades of Grey (9780345803481) 15.95, Fifty Shades Darker (9780345803498) 15.95, and Fifty Shades Freed (9780345803504) 15.95 dominated the charts?

He didn't know what to do or which way to go. So he went back to playing tennis. But then Mr. Patterson hit a ball so high into the air that he looked up and saw a lovely lady. It was Hilary Mantel, who had written Bring Up the Bodies (9780805090031) 28.00, and she was being pulled along by a festive squadron of flying bestsellers.

The flying lady knew that James had become complacent, and I, Michael Bennett (9780316097468) 27.99, which is one of thirteen titles he would release under his name this year, had been written by Michael Ledwidge. She said, "James, you can still have bestsellers, but you can also write something literary that will make a difference. I will show you how. Just follow me!" And her book flaps flapped like wings and she flew onward towards the Land of Literature.

Inspired, James Patterson picked up his racquet and went back to playing tennis.

Odds & Sods

We are saddened to learn that essayist, novelist, humorist, journalist, playwright, Oscar^TM nominated screenwriter, movie director, world class spelunker, professional poker player, acclaimed chef, Croatian tour guide, and reknowned alligator wrestler Nora Ephron has passed away. She was a friend of booksellers, and she will be missed . . .

Our good friend Steve Hamilton popped by today and signed copies of his new title, Die a Stranger (9780312640217) 25.99. It goes on-sale next Tuesday (7/3). He will be doing his usual Michigan tour, so look for him at a local bookstore near you. His signed copies are come first, first served . . .

Ye Olde Partners Page

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"Republicans and Democrats can't give you the facts,
Your parents won't tell you 'til you're grown
That every star that shines in the back of your mind
Is just waiting for its cover to be blown . . ."
--We've Been Had, Uncle Tupelo

1) CITIZENS UNITED . . . I see that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has stated emphatically that Marco Rubio is part of the vice-presidential vetting process. Unfortunately, I believe this means that I'm out of the running once again. Humph. So in response I wrote this little ditty, which is sung to the tune of David Bowie's Young Americans . . .

YOUNG REPUBLICANS

Do you remember your President Nixon?

Do you remember, the Cowards (9781451693478) 28.00 of today

Or even yesterday

Have you been an un-American?

Just Obama and The Communist (9781451698091) 27.00 are about

Amateur (9781596987852) 27.95, amateurs everywhere, and

Not The Brief Against Obama (9781455516308) 14.99

Well, well, well, he is The Great Destroyer (9781596987777) 29.95

In case, just in case of recession

Sit in your bunker and be the lone survivor

What the Bleep Just Happened? (9780062131157) 27.99

Ain't that close enough?

Well, it ain't that Barbie Doll?

Fox News' been broken just like you have

And all night

You want the young Republican

Young Republican, young Republican, you want the young Republican

All right, you want the young Republican . . .

2) DA YOOPER BOOKS . . . Partners is proud to announce that we are stocking the entire Jim 'Hoolie' Decaire book collection, including: You Know You're a Yooper When (9780965864503) 6.99, Hoolie's True Yooper Tales (9780965864534) 8.99, and of course, his award-winning Da Yooper Party Cookbook (9780965864541) 8.99, which is brimming with dishes appropriate for any potluck dinner. Also, if you need something to keep you busy on your long drive to the UP, Mary Kinnunen's Peninsula Crosswords (9780615469270) 9.95 would be the perfect prescription for hours of good clean Yooper fun. . .

Odds & Sods

On Friday, we had a gaggle of young adult authors stop in to sign their latest books. We have signed copies of Anna Banks' Of Poseidon (9781250003324) 17.99, Leigh Bardugo's Shadow & Bone (9780805094596) 17.99, Jennifer Bosworth's Struck (9780374372835) 17.99, and Emmy Laybourne's Monument 14 (9780312569037) 16.99. As usual, it is first come, first served . . .

Knopf has announced that Christopher Paolini's tradepaper edition of Inheritance (9780375846311) 15.99 will come with a whole passle of bonus materials, including: a dragon's egg, a suit of mithral, several greedy dwarves, and a partridge in a pear tree . . .