"I've got a job, I like to explore, I follow every little whiffB. TRAVEN JR. -- CONSPIRACY THEORIST AT LARGE
And I want my life to smell like this
To find a place, an ancient race . . ."
--The Tragically Hip, Looking for a Place to Happen
B. Traven Jr. here. You may remember me as a guest star on Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot. I was the one dressed up in the Sasquatch suit. Ha, ha! Actually, I was exploring the ruins of Nan Madol, which is also known as the 'Venice of the Pacific' in the present day Madolenihmw district of Pohnpei state. Unfortunately, I contracted malaria and I had to be airlifted out of Micronesia. Since I'm laid up anyway, Mick suggested that I write this week's Partners Page. So I'm taking a break from examining the internet for clues to whether President Obama really is a reptilian-human hybrid and if he is preparing the world for an alien takeover of Earth by the Greys. I may toil in obscurity, but I'm making the world a safer place. Ha, ha!
The Caldecott and Newbery Awards were announced Monday and once again the librarians of America have conspired to find titles that nobody has in stock. The Caldecott winner was Chris Raschka's A Ball for Daisy (9780375858611) 16.99. The Caldecott Honorees were Blackout (9781423121909) 16.99 by John Rocco, Lane Smith's Grandpa Green (9781596436077) 16.99, and my personal favourite, Patrick McDonnell's Me . . . Jane (9780316045469) 15.99. (A quick aside: I don't think the blackout in Rocco's book was purely accidental.)
The Newbery winner was Dead End in Norvlet (9780374379933) 15.99 by Jack Gantos. The two honorees were Thanhha Lai's Inside Out & Back Again (9780061962783) 15.99 and Breaking Stalin's Nose (9780805092165) 15.99 by Eugene Yelchin. Thanks again, librarians!
I just thumbed through Mark Levin's Ameritopia (9781439173244) 26.99 and I can sum it up in two sentences for you: SPOILER ALERT! Conservatives good. Liberals bad. You see I just saved you $26.99. Ha, ha! Of course his fans will lap this up and buy the book, so make sure you have plenty of copies for the initial rush on this one.
I don't have any concrete evidence, yet, but I think the NFL conspired against the Green Bay Packers. It seems more than a coincidence that both teams playing in the Super Bowl are east coast franchises. And I have never seen Packer receivers drop so many balls. Could the referees have smeared a slick substance on the Packer's football on offensive series? I know if Vince Lombardi was still coaching the Pack that those receivers would have been smacked upside the head with a copy of Dave Robinson and Royce Boyles' The Lombardi Impact: Twenty People Brushed By Greatness (9780983933403) 24.95, repeatedly. Ha, ha!
Odds & Sods
A plethora of hard to get titles are back in stock, including:
(9780439023498) 17.99 by Suzanne Collins
(9781451627282) 35.00 by Stephen King
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest
(9780307269997) 27.95 by Stieg Larsson
Star Wars: Darth Plagueis
(9780345511287) 27.00 by James Luceno
The Invention Of Hugo Cabret
(9780439813785) 24.99 by Brian Selznick
By the way, the last Stieg Larsson book comes out in paper on February 21 . . .