Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*

"I myself believe that there will one day be time travel because when we find that something isn't forbidden by the over-arching laws of physics we eventually find a technological way of doing it . . ."
--David Deutsch, author of The Fabric of Reality

I am B. Traven III. I am not from here. I am from the future, far, far in the future. You may recall that my father would often grace the Partners Page with his witty observations as a conspiracy theorist. In my own time, the Corporation has listed him as MIA and he is assumed to be dead. However this cannot be right, as I had not yet been born when he left on his 'last' mission, so thus, he must still be trapped in the 21st century and he will most assuredly return. Heh, heh!

As you may have surmised from his last few transmissions, he was sent backward in time to examine the phenomenon surrounding E.L. James' Fifty Shades series, including: Fifty Shades of Gray (9780345803481) 15.95, Fifty Shades Darker (9780345803498) 15.95, and Fifty Shades Freed (9780345803504) 15.95. From his notes, I believe that he was convinced that there must have been a disruptive anomaly in the space-time continuum for such a poorly written and mundane book to be so incredibly successful. I do know from my futuristic vantage point that Partners is expecting more copies of the last two titles next week. Also, I've learned that they will get the Fifty Shades Boxed Set (9780345804044) 47.85 on Friday the 13th. It sounds like they have a lot of stock tied up in this book. Heh, heh!

Before entering the 'Time Machine', I've had my headjack surgically removed to blend into 21st century society. I've also been innoculated against a litany of diseases that have been eradicated from my time period. And, unlike the Terminator movies, I will arrive fully clothed in New York. Thankfully, I will spare any innocent bystanders the shock of seeing my naked lily white body. Heh, heh!

Belore leaving, I did do some research on my father's contacts and I've reduced his list to the Ancient Aliens guy and media mogul Rupert Murdoch. I have chosen Mr. Murdoch for several reasons, and those being: A) He owns a vid network that is 'fair and balanced'. B) He is the CEO of a book company that produces quality fiction, such as Karl Taro Greenfeld's critically acclaimed New York-centric Triburnia (9780062132390) 25.99, Powell Padget's conversational You & Me (9780062126139) 23.99, and the Richard Ford's bestselling Canada (9780061692048) 27.99. C) Giorgio Tsoukalos from Ancient Aliens is completely off his rocker. (I believe I used that colloquialism right.) Heh, heh!

Next, I find that I have materialized next to Rupert Murdoch himself. Puzzlingly, he is standing in front of an open closet door, and he is holding the chain leashes of two velociraptors. I'm not quite sure what I've stumbled upon, but Mr. Murdoch looks like he has just seen a ghost . . .

Odds & Sods

It is strange how our minds work (or maybe its just mine). We have received two very different books, but they will be irrevocably linked for me. The first one is a collection of poetry by Joyce Benvenuto called A Grand River: Poems for Michigan (9781933272320) 15.95, which conjures up images of growing up in the Motor City. The other one is Scott Lasser's Say Nice Things About Detroit (9780393082999) 25.95, which is a murder mystery, a romance, and a story of redemption, all rolled into one . . .

We also have Laurie Kay Somers' Fishtown (9781933926469) 19.95, which delves into the history and lore of the fishing community in Leland, Michigan . . .

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