Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"Christians have their hymns and pages,
Hava Nagila's for the Jews,
Baptists have the Rock of Ages,
Atheists just sing the blues . . ."
                                                                                --Steve Martin, Atheists Don't Have No Songs

  Many years ago, I met Gabriel Garcia Marquez in a dream.  I was swathed in the smell of freshly minced poppies and newly mown grass.  Much later, I would learn that grass used this particular smell to communicate to the rest of the plant kingdom, 'Hey watch out for this noisy machine with the whirling blades!  It's decapitating us!'  Yet, to me, it was oddly comforting.  There once was a time when we watched human decaptitations for entertainment.
  I opened my eyes.  Gabriel Garcia Marquez stood framed before a giant circus tent with the words 'Karn Evil 9' stenciled in giant block letters.  He wore a ringmasters suit replete with tails that stretched on and on like the lines from an equal sign.  They were expensive threads.  He held up a copy of Chronicle of a Death Foretold (9781400034710) 13.95 and said, "I come to you from far in the future on the day before I die.  April 17, 2014."

  And it must have been later in his life.  His mustache was the whitest white like the untrameled Snows of Kilamanjaro (9780684804446) 14.00, his neck extended like the trunk of an elephant, and he leaned in conspiringly, "Hemingway may have figured it out eventually.  Who's to say?"  The tent flaps opened of their own accord, "Come inside."

  There were so many Gabriel Garcia Marquezes inside!  Some young, some old.  Each one was preforming a feat of derring-do.  Here, he was an acrobat and his gymnastic talents were on full display.  There, he was a lion tamer and he used a figurative chair of his 'fecund imagination and exuberant sleight of hand' to keep Michiko Kakutani at bay.  Directly in front of me was my favourite, the jester Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who balanced himself upon a ball with one foot, and with his calloused hands, he juggled multiple copies of Love in the Time of Cholera (9780307389732) 15.00 in a hypnotic swirl of brightly plumed parrots.  He repeated ad nauseam, "Uma, Oprah.  Uma, Oprah.  Uma Oprah . . ." 

  I spun away and fell into the pool beneath the 100 foot high diving platform.  I then found myself bathing in the spittle of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's unformed words.  Words yet to be.  I used a ladle to pour the sparkling soup across my flesh.  Hoping, just hoping, that perhaps by osmosis, I could absorb enough of his talent through my skin to write like him.  From the edge of the divingboard, he cocked a bushy eyebrow and bellowed, "Don't write like me.  Write like you.  You may write your own One Hundred Years of Solitude (9780060883287) 15.99 some day."

  Finally, dressed in a tiger print one piece, the strongman Gabriel Garcia Marquez pulled me out of the pool by my lapels and whispered, "Whatever you do, don't let Geraldo Rivera near my tomb.  There are some things better left unopened."

Odds & Sods

We have some more autographed titles available for a limited time.  First of all, we have signed copies of Andy Griffiths' 26-Story Tree House (9781250026910) 13.99.  You may recall that Andy is responsible for one of my favourite book titles of all-time, The Day My Butt Went Psycho (9780439424691) 6.99.  Priceless.


We also have copies of Kelley Armstrong's Sea of Shadows (9780062071248) 17.99.  The twins make their annual pilgrimage to The Forest of the Dead, and then things go awry.  Call me crazy, but if I see anything labeled 'The Forest of the Dead', I'm probably crossing it off of my itinerary . . .

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"When I get a little money I buy books;
and if any is left I buy food and clothes . . ."
                                                                                --Desiderius Erasmus


  There are only a few literary awards that actually generate sales for us in the book business, and the Pulitzer Prize is one of them.  (The others would be The National Book Award, Caldecott and Newbery, The Man / Booker Prize, and sometimes the Nobel Prize.)  So it's kind of a big deal.  Also, one of the five winners is a title that will sell well.  I know that's not a great ratio, but hey, it's better than nothing.  The title I'm referring to is the fiction winner, The Goldfinch (9780316055437) 30.00 by Donna Tartt, which has already been one of the better fiction bestsellers over the past year, but we should see another flurry of sales on it.  These are the winners (and the MTV Movie Award equivalent):

Fiction (Movie of the Year):  The Goldfinch (9780316055437) 30.00
by Donna Tartt

History (Best Gut-Wrenching Performance):  The Internal Enemy
(9780393073713) 35.00 by Alan Taylor

Biography (Best Female Performance):  Margaret Fuller
(9780544245617) 16.95 by Megan Marshall

 Poetry (Best Scared as S**t Performance):  3 Sections
(9781555976620) 22.00 by Vijay Seshadri

General Nonfiction (Best Hero)Tom's River
(9780553806533) 28.00 by Dan Fagin


Massacre Canyon
$$ (inexpensive)
Within walking distance of Torture Town, travelers might like to add the nearby scenic site known as Massacre Canyon to their itinerary.  If you have a few extra hours in the afternoon, you can purchase an inexpensive box lunch at the Dry Gulch Tavern and hike over to this out of the way slot canyon for local flora and fauna.  You can also visit the legendary location from William Johnstone's Family Jensen: Massacre Canyon (9780786033485) 7.50, in which the Jensens finally confront the outlaw Kroll Gang in a good old-fashioned Wild West shootout.  Great fun! 

Odds & Sods

We have a limited supply of Marina Keegan's The Opposite of Loneliness (9781476753614) 23.00 back in stock.  Marina, who graduated magnum cum laude from Yale University, was tragically killed in a car accident a week after her graduation.  This collection of essays is being touted as The Last Lecture (9781401323257) 21.99 for this year's graduating class . . .


I still say that the 'Doctor Who Diet' would have been a better title, but Travis Stork's The Doctor's Diet (9781939457035) 25.95 has been selling at a brisk pace since his return visit to the Dr. Oz Show last week . . .

Have a wonderful
Earth Day!    

Friday, April 11, 2014

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"We have outsmarted ourselves, like greedy monkeys, and now we are full of dread . . ."
                                                                                --Peter Matthiessen


B. Traven Jr. here.  You may remember me as the host of the History Channels' B. Traven Jr. Presents X-treme Ancient Astronaut Conspiracy Mysteries and as a frequent guest on Alien Hunters.  However, today I speak to you with a very heavy heart.  My fellow traveling companion and good friend Peter Matthiessen passed away over the weekend.  Ironically, Peter, who is one of six authors to win multiple National Book Awards had his title In Paradise (9781594633171) 27.95 released yesterday.  As is his nature, this last book has no easy answers.  Set in Auchswitz in 1996, it concerns a collection of pilgrims who have arrived at the infamous concentration camp to try to understand the nature of evil, and to see if it is possible to wring some good from the deaths of so many human beings.  Both lyrical and profound, this is a book destined to raise as many questions as it does answers.  I am sure that Peter, no matter what his religious proclivities are, is now 'In Paradise' himself.  Klaatu barada nikto, my friend . . .

 Back in the early 60s, Peter and I travelled to New Guinea in the search for Michael Rockefeller.  Michael, grandson of John D. Rockefeller, had disappeared when his outrigger capsized on some god-forsaken river which abutted the lands of the cannibalistic Asmat tribe.  I, of course, was convinced he had been abducted by aliens, whereas Peter felt that Michael may have become the Asmat tribe's main course, ala oysters Rockefeller, instead.  Carl Hoffman reopens this case in his latest title, Savage Harvest (9780062116154) 26.99.  Mr. Hoffman claims to have solved this mystery, but unfortunately, like most of my alien abduction theories, most of his evidence seems to be circumstantial at best.  And that's today's Final Word.  We'll right back after these important messages.  Ha, ha!

*Paid Advertisement*

Did you want to know what really goes on behind closed doors during spring break?  Well, look no further than Herman Parish's new book Amelia Bedelia Goes Wild (9780062095060) 4.99.  Amelia and her friends are up to all kinds of summer hijinks in the latest from this popular long running series.  And let's just say things get a bit 'wild' at Amelia's backyard zoo.  But wait, there's more!  If you order by midnight tonight, you'll receive absolutely free Miss Child Has Gone Wild! (9780061969164) 3.99 by Dan Gutman.  It's not just the students who are having a wild time during spring break!  The teachers are finding fun in the sun, too.  So if you order right now, you'll receive both titles for $4.99 plus shipping and handling charges.  You must be under 18 years of age to order.  Order now!


Odds & Sods

Our good friend Nevada Barr stopped in Friday to sign our copies of her new Anna Pigeon title, Destroyer Angel (9780312614584) 26.99.  I cannot say anything bad about Nevada; she was a joy to have here.  She exuded intelligence, friendlinest, and she was just plain fun to be around.  Her husband Don was great, too.  I can't wait for her next book tour.  As usual, it is first come, first served for our autographed copies . . .

Speaking of fun authors, Nicholas Butler, author of Shotgun Lovesongs (9781250039811) 25.99 was a blast when we had dinner with him a couple of months ago.  Set in Little Wing, Wis., his first novel is getting the kind of reviews that seasoned veterans wish they were getting.  It's pretty good . . . 

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"The book salesman should be honored because he brings to our attention,
as a rule, the very books we need most and neglect most . . ."

1)  SYLOS MARNER . . .  D.J. Machale, author of the highly popular Pendragon series, creator and director of the Nickelodeon TV show Are You Afraid of the Dark?, and a former WW II PT boat captain, stopped in Friday to sign copies of his latest series, SYLO.  We have signed paperback copies of the first title in the series, SYLO (9781595146663) 9.99, and also signed copies of his new hardcover, Storm: The SYLO Chronicles #2 (9781595146670) 17.99.  D.J. who is a genuinely nice guy, regaled us with stories of working at Nickelodeon.  This juvenile set features government conspiracies, unlikely heroes, and a post-apocalyptic future.  So what's not to like?

2)  THE YELLOW-LIGHTED BOOKSHOP . . .  Much like Hollywood loves nothing more than a movie about Hollywood (I'm looking at you, Academy Award winner The Artist), booksellers love books about bookstores.  Consequently, the recently released The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry (9781616203214) 24.95 by Gabrielle Zevin is already receiving a lot of industry buzz.  A.J.'s wife passed away, he drinks too much, his Island Books has the worst sales in its history, and someone stole his rare copy of Poe's Tamerlane.  So, really, it's just another typical day in the book biz.  Gabrielle was highlighted in an interview on NPR's All Things Considered a few days ago.  This one could be a sleeper.  "Till growing bold, he laughed and leapt into the tangles of Love's very hair . . ."

3)  THE GRADUATE . . .  It's almost time to put up that graduation display in your store, and of course, there are the usual suspects like Dr. Seuss' Oh the Places You'll Go (9780679805274) 17.99 and Randy Pausch's El Lecturo Lasto, which is the Spanish translation of The Last Lecture (9781401323257) 21.99, or local favourites like Ms. Tyler's Been There Should Have Done That (9780965608657) 12.95 and Countdown to College (9780965608626) 12.95 by Valerie Pierce.  However, there are a few new ones that could be huge sellers for us like Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In: For Graduates (9780385353670) 24.95, which releases Tuesday, and literary wunderkind George Saunder's Congratulations by the Way: Some Thoughts on Kindness (9780812996272) 14.00.  Sheryl's book deals with the practicalities for those graduates just joining the workforce, which includes: finding a job, resume writing, and your first interview.  Mr. Saunder's title is a transcript of his convocation address at Syracuse University.  He offers an uplifting and inspirational speech on what we can do to make the world a better place.  What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?



On this day in Byzanine History (April 2)
                                           Happy 666th Birthday, Emperor Andronikos IV Palaiologos!

Odds & Sods

What would Carson do?  The fourth season of Downton Abbey recently wrapped up on this side of the pond, but that hasn't stopped Running Press from releasing Light Up Downton Abbey (9780762452576) 12.95.  Not only does it light up, but it also plays the Downton Abbey theme song, too.  This one would be a great cashwrap item for Mother's Day . . .

I have no idea how to play the Minecraft video game, but I do know we keep selling out of the guides as soon as we receive them.  If you need copies of Minecraft: Redstone Handbook (9780545685153) 7.99 or Minecraft: Essential Handbook (9780545669931) 7.99, I would recommend a backorder . . .