Thursday, July 31, 2014

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"I have always found it quaint and rather touching that there is a movement
in the US that thinks Americans are not yet selfish enough . . ."
                                                                                 --Christopher Hitchens on Ayn Rand

OLD PEOPLE WITH NOOKS (Part Two)
  With a head nod, Wilson gestured towards the police forensics anthropologist, who was kneeling next to a body, "What's 'The Ghoul' doing here?"
  Juan could see Jim Maxwell, who had been nicknamed 'The Ghoul' by his old boss, poking and prodding one of the unconscious booksellers with various metallic instruments.  Looking up, he grinned from ear to ear like The Joker then reached into his bag and pulled out a few sample vials.
  Wilson was literally whispering in his ear, "Lieutenant, why is he taking samples?  Could this be some kind of mutant virus? Like in William Brinkley's The Last Ship (9780142181430) 17.00 or is it like that Guillermo del Toro TV series The Strain (9780062344618) 9.99?  I really don't wanna be turned into a vampire."

 

  Juan turned and gave him a sarcastic smile, "First of all, Wilson, please get your tongue out of my ear.  And secondly, 'No, no, no.'  If there was any chance of a virus, 'The Ghoul' would be wearing a Hazmat suit right now," he carefully picked his way through the maze of prone bodies.  He nearly knocked over a display of Jeffrey Brown's Goodnight Darth Vader (9781452128306) 14.95 in the aisle and hollered, "Hey Jim, what ya got so far?"


  'The Ghoul' had his hair slicked back.  It looked even greasier than Tom Hank's hair when he played Robert Langdon in The Da Vinci Code (9780307474278) 9.99.  Personal cleanliness had never been high on his list of priorities, but he had a twinkle in his eye as he answered, "Lieutenant, it looks like we have a bit of a mystery on our hands.  The good news: it's definitely not a pathogen.  The bad news: I have no idea what possessed a mob of old people with Nooks to attack these poor booksellers . . ."


  Juan queried, "Frustration?"
  Maxwell scratched his head, "I think I see where you're going with this.  Old people tend not to be technologically savvy, and this may have been the only outlet for them to vent their frustrations.  I guess if there ever were an argument for old people to stick to the printed page, this might just be it.  Or it could be . . ."
  Juan knew exactly where his line of reasoning would lead them, "Dataclysm?"
  Maxwell nodded, "I think we really need to consider it as a valid possibilty."
  He noticed a copy of How to Survive a Sharknado (9780553418132) 14.99 by Andrew Shaffer, "Dataclysm.  Well, to me, it sounds like a bad SyFy Channel movie like Sharknado 2, or millions of people buried under a mountain of data."


  'The Ghoul' became more animated, "Christian Rudder's new book Dataclysm (9780385347372) 28.00 delves into this exact topic.  And, of course, there is another expert we can talk to."


  Juan's face turned ashen, "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
  "Yup, I believe it's time someone paid Mr. Jeff Bezos a visit in his Cloud City."  

Odds & Sods

Michigan historian Larry Massie is back from a long hiatus with a new book, Blue Water, Red Metal & Green Gold: The Color of Michigan's Past (9781886167346) 14.95.  From lumberjack shenanigans to Native American lore, this collection has 27 true stories about Michigan.  Shenanigans.  Heh, heh . . .


I saw the trailer for the upcoming movie based on Gayle Forman's If I Stay (9780147514530) 10.99 over the weekend and I had the startling revelation, 'I am definitely not the target audience for this movie.'  However, it should be a hit with the 'tweeners.'  The sequel Where She Went (9780142420898) 10.99 has been selling well, too . . .