Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.
People are either charming or tedious . . ."
--Oscar Wilde

B. Traven Jr. here. In my continuing search for the great explorer Percy Fawcett,who is chronicled in David Grann's book, The Lost City of Z (9781400078455) 15.95, I have returned early from the Amazonian rainforest in anticipation of being named as this year's winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature. Robert Zimmerman ain't got nothing on me. Ha, ha! I have been working all day on my acceptance speech. So here's a preview:

"Thank you, thank you. Oh, you're all too kind. Thank you. Please be seated. Thank you. First of all, I would like to thank my fellow authors who were just as deserving of this award as I am. Haruki Murakami, author of IQ84 (9780307593313) 30.00, which releases on October 25, has been highlighted on several of the Nobel Prize shortlists and certainly will be in the running for this award in the future. Goo, goo, g'joob . . .

Of course there's always Nicholas Sparks. His new title The Best Of Me (9780446547659) 25.99 will be available on October 11. Nicholas, who has been compared to Ernest Hemingway, mostly by himself, would have been just as deserving of this award, too.

Bill O'Reilly, who I have always admired, has recently released a new blockbuster called Killing Lincoln (9780805093070) 28.00. Mr. O'Reilly has been a longtime conspiracy theorist and his eye opening take on Lincoln's assassination has been long overdue. Et tu, Mary Todd?

And how about Neal Stephenson? He could write a thousand-page book on what he had for dinner last night. Reamde (9780061977961) 35.00, his latest doorstop, has been getting the kind of reviews that would make Jonathan Franzen envious. Neal, I'm still working on it, so don't 'ream me.' Ha, ha!

And, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Thomas Pynchon. Sorry Tom, you've become the Susan Lucci of the Nobel Prize. (I'm trying to make this sound like I'm speaking off the cuff.) Oh, and I almost forgot my fellow Michigander Jeffrey Eugenides, who should have won this award a long time ago. His new one The Marriage Plot (9780374203054) 28.00 is on-sale next Tuesday. He is the writer's writer. (I try to start the Brown chant from Lisa Simpson's nightmare.) Brown! Brown! Brown!

Secondly, I would like to thank the Swedish Academy. You have great taste. If I hadn't won this year, I would have thought that there was some kind of conspiracy against me. Ha, ha!

Odds & Sods

Hey, hey, hey . . . heeey, Halloween is right around the corner and Partners is offering the deal of a lifetime. We are featuring a selection of our Michigan, Illinois, and Indiana titles for our '2011 Halloween Special.' If you order a minimum of 25 assorted books from this flyer, you will receive free freight and a 43% discount. You should be getting this in the mail, if not, we can e-mail or fax you the list. Ooooo, dat's scary . . .
I am officially a member of the 'Boring Book Club.' I attended my first meeting this past Sunday. I never realized that there were at least four other people in the world who enjoyed dry-as-kindling non-fiction like Charles Morris' The Tycoons (9780805081343) 18.00. I am giddy . . .

No comments:

Post a Comment