Thursday, November 5, 2015

THE DREAMS OF SIR CHARLES EDMUND WILSON III

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"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream . . ."
                                                 --Edgar Allan Poe

THE DREAMS OF SIR CHARLES EDMUND WILSON III

  I will never forget the smell of the Somme.
  As a first lieutenant in the 2nd Battalion of the Royal Munster Fusiliers, I dutifully blew my whistle five minutes after the bombardment was finished.  I waved my right arm, and I and my men clambered out of our trenches and into No Man's Land.  I peered down at the muck and mire, and I saw books placed like stepping stones ahead of me.  I leapt from book cover to book cover to avoid sinking into the ooze.  I heard German machine guns begin to cough and spit out their bullets.  The first book was Stephen King's short story collection The Bazaar of Bad Dreams (9781501111679) 30.00.  As it began to sink into the slime, I bounded onto the next title, Patricia Cornwell's latest Kay Scarpetta mystery, Depraved Heart (9780062325402) 28.99.  Men began to fall all around me.  I ducked and hopped onto another book cover.  It was Elizabeth George's Banquet of Consequences (9780525954330) 28.95.  Suddenly, there was the scream of a shell, an explosion, and everything went black . . .

  

  "Balderdash!" exclaimed Sir Alasdair Ffrench.
  I glanced around.  I recognized this place; it was a hallway outside the House of Lords.  Sir Ffrench and Sir Eton Hogg were seated on a velvet Chesterfield.  They were arguing about Ted Koppel's new book, Lights Out (9780553419962) 26.00.  It was beginning to get ugly.
  Sir Hogg laughed haughtily, "Do you really think that Britain, or the United States for that matter, are ready for a cyber attack that would cripple our infrastructure?"
  "Humph!  I have servants and a well-stocked wine cellar.  I am not worried in the least," harrumphed Sir Ffrench.
  I rubbed my eyes.  Slowly and strangely, both of my friends were becoming pixelated, as well as the sofa they were perched on.  The dots grew larger and larger until they were swallowed by the blackness yet again...


  "How doth thy plead, Consilience Mather?" asked the local magistrate.
  I was seated on a wood bench in a courtroom.  It dawned on me that this young lady was the woman on the cover of Stacy Schiff's book on the Salem Witch Trial, The Witches (9780316200608) 32.00.  And now her gaze was fixed on me.
  "Thy Devil is here!"
  There were audible gasps throughout the hall.
  She pointed at me, "And thy name is Sir Charles Edmund Wilson III!"


  I felt a shake.  A man in a giant white rabbit costume loomed over me.  Oh, thank God, it was only Chip.
  I smiled, "Dear boy, can you get me a hot toddy?  It's going to be a long night." 

Odds & Sods

Bottoms Up!  There is no one who knows his beer and breweries better than Kevin Revolinski.  I am proud to announce that we have received Kevin's 3rd edition of Wisconsin's Best Beer Guide (9781933272559) 16.95.  It is an updated companion to his other titles: Michigan's Best Beer Guide (9781933272382) 16.95 and Minnesota's Best Beer Guide (9781933272535) 16.95.  These are perfect gifts for the alcohol aficionado on your holiday wishlist.

  


Also, for the young Spartan fan on your list, I would recommend the Go Spartans Activity Book & App (9781941788615) 14.99.  Go Green!

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