Thursday, July 18, 2013

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"For most of history, Anonymous was a woman . . ."
                                                                                     --Virginia Woolf


  So I walk down the street to Double D's house, stroll up to his porch, and pound on his front door.  I can see the curtains move off to the side in the front window and then slide back into place.  Dressed in her usual attire of lime-green robe, hair curlers, fuzzy bunny slippers, and a Pall Mall unfiltered cigarette dangling from her lower lip, Doctor Delay's mom opens the door and motions for me to come in.
  I ask in my best Eddie Haskell voice, "Hi, Mrs. D.  Is Double D here?"
  She exhales a cloud of smoke, "Yeah, Bill.  He's downstairs getting ready for his busy day."
  "Thanks Mrs. D.," I say as I scurry past her into the kitchen.
  I take the stairs two at a time into the basement.  At the bottom landing, I nearly stumble on the last step and land face first on the floor.  I'm flabbergasted.  There are rows of giant computers with mulit-colored blinking lights lining every wall of his basement.  There are ribbons of white tape regurgitating from some of the machines, and digital reels are whirling around in circles on other ones. 
  Double D sits at a half circular desk and he's on the phone, "I swear J.K. Rowling wrote The Cuckoo's Calling (9780316206846) 26.00.  No, I'm not some kind of crank.  I've analyzed word selection, sentence structure, and syntax.  It's definitely Rowling.  Hey, I don't care what the back cover says.  I can't find any record of a Robert Galbraith . . ."

  "Dude, did someone sell you the set from Lost in Space?"
  Double D covers the phone receiver with one hand, "Dude, good one.  Hang on, I'm talking long distance with someone at the Sunday Times about J.K. Rowling."
  I start thumbing through the stack of books on his desk.  There's a copy of Brad Thor's Hidden Order (9781476717098) 27.99.  Hmmm, terrorists again.  Man, I miss the old days when the Commies were the bad guys.  Or Nazis.  Nazis were great boogeymen.  The next title is This Town (9780399161308) 27.95 by chief national correspondent for New York Times Magazine, Mark Leibovich.  From the backflap, it sounds like everyone in Washington, D.C. is a millionaire politician or lobbyist.  Who says crime doesn't pay?  I look at the cover of his next book.
  "Dude, are you reading Danielle Steel's First Sight (9780385338301) 28.00?"
  He covers the phone receiver again, "Wha?  Oh, no.  Dude, that's my mom's book.  These jerks at the Sunday Times have got me on hold . . ."
  "So what's up with the computers?"
  The Doctor explains, "Dude, they're NASA surplus computers.  I got a great deal on them.  And NASA is really hard up for cash.  So I've been putting them to good use by investigating the similarities of various authors' writing styles.  I think I'm about to break the biggest story in literature since the Bachman books."
  I shake my head, "Dude, you really need a hobby."


Odds & Sods

For the ChillersTM fans out there, we are expecting Jonathan Rand's Michigan Chillers #16: Catastrophe in Caseville (9781893699472) 5.99 to arrive today.  Back orders have been piling up . . .

We are expecting Sleeping Bear Press' reprint of Kathy-Jo Wargin's The Legend of Sleeping Bear (9781886947351) 17.95 to ship from the publisher on Friday.  Our stock should arrive here by Wednesday . . .

Sleeper Alert:  You might want to keep an eye on Aslan Reza's Zealot: The Life & Times of Jesus of Nazareth (9781400069224) 27.00.  Heavenly books sell well . . .

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