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*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*

"I've spent my whole life learning to write very slowly, for maximum expressiveness, and for money. So the idea of writing really quickly, for free, offends me . . ."
--George Saunders on Twitter and Tweeting

THE BAD LUCK SCHLEPROCK EDITION
"Oh wowsie wowsie woo woo. Miserable day, isn't it.?"

1) 50% OF FIRST MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE . . . If I were Bad Luck Schleprock, I would invest in both of Michael Maran's new ninth editions of his seminal work, Michigan Divorce Book with Children (9780936343235) 34.95 and hopefully, if there aren't any baby Schleprocks running hither and yon, there is also Michigan Divorce Book without Children (9780936343228) 28.95. These are two titles that every Michigan bookstore should have in stock. Odds are, Mr. Schleprock is probably looking at a future divorce, and these are the books that can save him some money on his exorbiant lawyer's fees. I believe we're all aware that these bloodsuckers don't come cheap . . .

2) ASIAN CARP ARE ALREADY IN THE GREAT LAKES . . . This was news to me, but several recent studies report that this invasive species has most likely infiltrated the Lake Michigan ecosystem. To make matters worse, poor Schleprock has an infestation of Asian carp in his backyard pool. The other day he threw a beach ball into the pool and he was knocked out cold by one of the 'flying' fish. So at least the next day he did the right thing, he bought a copy of Invaders of the Great Lakes (9781591932925) 6.95. From the water chestnut to the sea lamprey, this cashwrap-sized title may be the only thing to prevent our Great Lakes from becoming the Mos Eisley of America . . .

3) DISCO INFERNO . . . It could be worse. Since Schleprock was born in the prehistoric era, which predates Christianity in Dante's Inferno (9781555976545) 20.00, he most likely would not end up in Hell, but instead, he would have a nice long sojourn in Limbo. I'm not sure where he would fall in Dan Brown's Inferno (9780385537858) 29.95. Robert Langdon is back, and this will guarantee Inferno is destined for the bestseller lists. Until Khalid Hosseini's And the Mountains Echoed (9781594631764) 28.95 releases next Tuesday, Mr. Brown has the biggest book of the summer. I actually caught him on The Colbert Report last night, and I have to admit that he came across as a likeable guy. "So he's got that going for him, which is nice." Kelley from Calhoun sent me a couple of Dan Brown oriented links: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/10049454/Dont-make-fun-of-renowned-Dan-Brown.html and http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/6194031/The-Lost-Symbol-and-The-Da-Vinci-Code-author-Dan-Browns-20-worst-sentences.html?fb As for where he'd be in Sherrilyn Kenyon's Inferno (9781250002839) 18.99, which went on-sale last month, I will leave to conjecture. Is it hot in here, or is just me?

Odds & Sods

Not since Kathy-jo Wargin's The Legend of Mackinac Island (9781585365173) 17.95 have we carried a kid's Mackinac book that I could get behind. That changed today. Thunder Bay Press has released a fresh printing of Jennifer M. Powell's What I Saw Mackinac: A Counting Book (9781933272368) 10.95. This one will be a children's bestseller for years to come . . .

Well, everyone has been picking on Detroit lately (and with good cause). Now it looks like it's Flint, Michigan's turn. Gordon Young's Teardown: Memoirs of a Vanishing City (9780520270527) 29.95 gets the ball rolling. Mr. Young, a Flint native, hasn't given up on his hometown, but the odds are daunting . . .