"A Farewell to Arms, by Hemingway. Good stuff. That's what I write. That's what I write . . ."Huh? Did Nicholas Sparks, author of The Last Song (9780446570978) 14.99 and the upcoming Miley Cyrus movie vehicle just compare himself to Ernest Hemingway? Seriously? Oh wait, it gets better . . .
--Nicholas Sparks in his USA Today interview
'Cormac McCarthy? "Horrible," [Sparks] says, looking at Blood Meridian (9780679728757) 15.00. "This is probably the most pulpy, overwrought, melodramatic cowboy vs. Indians story ever written."
Really, Mr. Sparks? Personally, I don't think you're fit to even carry Cormac McCarthy's typewriter for him, but maybe I'm just being mean. Let's see what the folks over at Cracked.com have to say:
See. This is why we can't have nice things. Speaking of 'pop culture icons that I wish would just go away forever,' Kate Gosselin's I Just Want You to Know (9780310318965) 22.99 releases on April 13. She will be dancing her way on to The Today Show, The View, Fox & Friends, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and Rachael Ray. Meh . . .
Much like Abe Vigoda, I was surprised to learn that Kitty Kelley is still alive. Apparently, she's still writing books too. She has taken over three years to research her biography on the 'most powerful person in the multiverse' -- Oprah Winfrey. Oprah: A Biography (9780307394866) 30.00 will also be released on April 13. Ms. Kelley likes to court controversy with her unauthorized memoirs and I'm sure there will be something shocking in her latest book that will hit the news cycle for a week or two. No word yet, but I don't expect Ms. Kelley to make an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show . . .
Teabaggin' with Sean Hannity. Mr. Hannity's manifesto Conservative Victory (9780062003058) 14.99 went on-sale yesterday. The former partner of Alan Colmes will be autographing at the Schuler's Books & Music in Grand Rapids tomorrow. I offered to bake a coconut cream pie tonight and present it to Sean at the signing, but Mike said not to bother. By the way, Dick Morris also has a blueprint to take America back from the evil 'libruls.' It's called . . . duh-duh-duh-da . . . 2010 Take Back America: A Battle Plan (9780061988448) 26.99. I haven't seen Mr. Morris' appearance schedule yet, but I'm sure he'll be on all of the Fox Network talk shows. And ladies, watch your toes . . .
Odds & Sods
I've been led to believe that success in America is measured in dollars and cents. And to reiterate that message, Phil Town is back with his new book, Payback Time (9780307461865) 26.99. He will show you how to stockpile wealth. Phil must know what he's talking about, he has really nice teeth . . .
I'm excited about a couple of new alphabet books from Sleeping Bear Press. I'm always a sucker for Roman history books, and Debbie Michael Shoulders' G is for Gladiator (9781585364572) 17.95 is a keeper. Also, my grandmother would love Eve Begley Kiehm's B is for Bagpipes: A Scotland Alphabet (9781585364534) 17.95, Brotha . . .