Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Ye Olde Partners Page

*News From the Glamorous World of Bookselling*

"Children by the million sing for Alex Chilton
When he comes 'round,
They sing 'I'm in love.
What's that song?
I'm in love with that song . . .'"
--The Replacements, Alex Chilton

B. Traven Jr. here. I'd tell you what the 'B' stands for, but I'd have to kill you. Ha, ha! But seriously, you may remember me from such television shows as MonsterQuest, Ghosthunters, The Lockerbie Incident, and of course, albeit briefly, Dancing with the Stars. Mick asked me to take a break from my Canadian Sasquatch hunting and write this week's Partners Page. Ha, ha!

The book that really caught my eye was Jesse Ventura's American Conspiracies (9781602398023) 24.95. I find it peculiar that an 'amateur' like Jesse can get a book deal, whereas someone like myself, who is an 'expert' can't even get his foot in the door at a major publisher. Hmmm, it sounds like a conspiracy. Ha, ha! I decided to flip his book open at random and see what Mr. Ventura had to say, let's see . . . 'Sirhan Sirhan had been programmed by the CIA to assassinate RFK.' Oh, c'mon. Woo, woo, woo! Everybody break out the tinfoil hats. Ha, ha! Nobody could possibly believe that. I think anybody with half a brain knows it was the Mossad that 'Manchurian candidated' Sirhan Sirhan. Sheesh! Partners should have stock tomorrow unless their delivery gets hijacked by Columbian drug lords. Don't laugh. It's happened before . . .

One of my favourite non-fiction writers is Harlan Coben. Non-fiction, you say? You really don't think Mr. Coben makes this stuff up? Over the years, he has taken real stories and merely changed the names. His latest offering is Caught (9780525951582) 27.95, and although the young girl is supposedly the victim of a sexual predator, it was originally an alien abduction account. True story.

My next book selection is on a topic that I've done a little research for the show In Search of. Danielle Trussoni's Angelology (9780670021475) 27.95 purports to tell the tale of the Nephilim, who are half-human and half-angel, and their evil machinations throughout human history. It's seen from the point-of-view of a Sister Evangeline who belongs to a secret group, the Society of Angelologists. Their goal is to keep the Nephilim in check. Ms. Trussoni has most of it right, but it's actually called the Angelologists' Society. But I'm not one to quibble. Ha, ha!

And finally, I have been waiting for the fifth and last book in Brandon Mull's bestselling series, Fablehaven: Keys to the Demon Prison (9781606412381) 21.99. This series has been a great introduction to the wide, wide world of conspiracies. Suspiciously, the publisher is already out of stock, and Partners only has a small supply left in their secret stash. I'm not sure what's going on, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the Carlyle Group is behind it. Ha, ha!

And remember, as Bob Heinlein once said, "Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny."

Odds & Sods

Sherman Alexie's trophy case must be getting mighty full. He has now won the PEN/Faulkner Award for his latest title, War Dances (9780802119193) 23.00. Congrats, Mr. Alexie . . .

And on a sad note, Alex Chilton, the original purveyor of power pop music, passed away last Wednesday night of a heart attack. He was only 59 years old. I guess most people don't know who Alex was, which is a shame, but when I first discovered his group big Star I immediately became one of the converted. Big Star's #1 Record and Radio City should be required listening for any music fan. And his final Big Star album Third/Sisters will break your heart in two . . .

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