Ye Olde Partners Page
*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"This is a war universe. War all the time. That is its nature. There may be other universes
based on all sorts of other principles, but ours seems to be based on war and games . . ."
--William S. Burroughs
THE MAN IN THE LOW BASEMENT
Maybe it was the drugs.
Doctor Delay was in his basement preparing for his local cable access show, Book Stalkers. Feeling a little under the weather, he had downed a cocktail of decongestant pills and aspirin with a shot of whiskey. He had been staring at the gold foiled wallpaper directly behind his computer monitor for quite some time. In a three foot by three foot section at eye level, he noticed striations of glittering light begin to coalesce into a slowly swirling vortex. Then there seemed to be a tear in the fabric of time and space itself, and through this rent he could see and hear a neighboring parallel universe. A well-coiffed Doctor Delay in a very expensive suit was seated on a TV set with a large studio audience in attendance. Stoner Bill was nowhere to be seen. David Baldacci was seated directly across from him and was obviously recounting a story:
"So I'm in this restaurant with my wife and this other couple has been watching us during the entire meal. The other woman gets up, walks up to our table, and asks me, "Are you that famous mystery writer?" And I reply, "Well, as a matter of fact, I am." She turns around and yells across the room, "I told you! It's John Grisham!" I nearly fall out of my chair and correct her, "No, I'm David Baldacci." She turns around again and yells, "You were right honey, it's that Italian guy!"
Alternate universe Double D laughed and said, "That was David Baldacci, folks! Make sure you buy his new kid's book, The Keeper (9780545831949) 17.99!"
"By the way folks, you haven't heard of next week's guest, yet, but Garth Risk Halberg's debut novel City on Fire (9780385353779) 30.00 was bought by Knopf for over $2 million. It has already been on the New York Times Book Review's front page, and B&N's CEO has made his title an unofficial handsell for the upcoming holiday season. Hey, maybe he'll buy me lunch!" (laugh soundtrack)
"Speaking of fire, our other guests on next week's show will be YouTube sensations Dan and Phil, who have written The Amazing Book Is Not on Fire (9781101939840) 18.99. I'm not the demographic on this one, but apparently, it's what the kids are into. We will be right back after these commercial messages . . ."
There was a blinding flash of light and Doctor Delay was once again staring at his hazy reflection in the gold foil wallpaper behind his desk. Stoner Bill tapped him on the shoulder and said, "We're ready to go on. You better get into your pig costume."
Odds & Sods
The winner of the Man Booker Prize was announced today and the unanimous choice was Marlon James' A Brief History of Seven Killings (9781594633942) 17.00. The central figure is reggae musician Bob Marley. We should have more stock, shortly . . .
Our favourite author escort, Michele Pernia, brought Scott Westerfeld, Margo Lanagan, and Deborah Biancotti in last week to sign our copies of their new young adult title, Zeroes (9781481443364) 19.99. To no one's great surprise, the movie rights have already been sold. As usual, it's first come, first served . . .