*A Collection of
Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"It has
become appallingly obvious that our technology
has exceeded our
humanity . . ."
--Albert Einstein
It has been nearly one
thousand years since the arrival of the 'Georgian Bug', as was recounted in the
Emily St. John Mandel novel, Station Eleven (9780385353304)
24.95. The lightning fast plague had consequently wiped out the majority
of humanity. The surviving people had reverted to a mostly agrarian
society, which was in turn governed by the priesthood of the dominant religion,
The Church of Latter Day Winfreys. We now join the New Petoskey
congregation during their early morning prayer service:
"My brothers and sisters please
rise. And with both hands make the symbol of the 'O' and repeat after me:
'Our Oprah from Chicago / you are a blessed prophet / your book club is
eternal / Give us our monthly read / you are the teacher / we are
the students.' Please be seated. Before our Lord wiped the earth
clean of evil in the great plague, there was a horrible, horrible War upon
Christmas in Chicago. There was a beating of breasts and a childish
weeping by men. And lo, Diane Muldrow issued forth her tome of salvation,
Everything I Need to Know About Christmas I Learned From a Little Golden
Book (9780553497359) 9.99. And her words smote Satan and his evil
designs upon our most holiest of days! Repeat after me: 'Christmas is the
most wonderful time of the year and all, but there's just so much to do.
Amen.'"
The priestess made the sign of the 'O',
fumbled beneath the lectern, and retrieved another book. She spoke again,
"I will now read from the 10th Book of Mitford, Somewhere Safe with
Somebody Good (9780399167447) 27.95 by the prophetess Jan Karon. From
Chapter 12: 'He was roaming the store looking for 'O' titles when he heard the
bell. Irene McGraw. Irene was in her usual garb of pants and cotton
sweater, making the casual appear elegant. He wished he could remember
the name of the famous film star people said she looked like, but since he
never saw a movie . . .'"
The congregation responded, "Irene,
we got your 'O' title right here!"
"Yes, we do," the priestess
plucked out another book from beneath the lectern and lifted it above her head,
"The Oprah Bible! It is called What I Know For Sure (9781250054050)
24.99 and it is both wonderful and wise. We know one day Oprah will send
nuclear emissions from beneath the earth and it will cleanse our world. Our
souls will rise to the blessed realm and we will embrace our holiest of
Mothers, Oprah Winfrey. Only then will we join her by the lake to watch
her TV show and Beloved.
Amen."
Odds
& Sods
Victoria Brehm's
The Women's Great Lakes Reader (9780970260604) 22.95, which has been a
staple for bookstores throughout our region for many years, has been
unavailable for most of the summer. Well, fret no more! We have
received a reprint of her book with a new price and it is once again available
from Partners.
Back
in the day, I would spend most of my Saturday nights at the midnight movie to
take in a viewing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Now you can relive
those days with Sal Piro and Larry Viezel's The Rocky Horror Treasury (9780762455195)
27.00. It's just a jump to the left . . .
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