*A Collection of
Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"What a
drag it is getting old . . ."
--The Glimmer Twins, Mother's
Little Helper
OLD
PEOPLE WITH NOOKS (Part One)
This wasn't his first
rodeo. Lieutenant Juan Carlos had been a beat cop for twenty years before
he'd made detective. And he thought he had seen it all. He picked
his way through the barricade of police cars and EMS vehicles, and then
gingerly stepped over the the yellow crime scene tape. He paused to look
up at the Barnes & Noble logo over the store doorway, shook his
head, and strode inside.
Nothing could have prepared
him for the carnage that lay before him. Several hover rounds were
toppled over like ungainly dinosaurs with mottled skins of mismatched paint and
Tea Party bumper stickers. With an attendant high-pitched whine, one of
the scooters still had its rear wheels impotently spinning. Round and
round. EMS technicians were administering first aid to broken and
bloodied booksellers. There were books scattered across the floor, and
small electronic devices of plastic and glass. He felt the hard crunch of
glass beneath his shoe as he tiptoed his way towards the sales counter.
Wilson, his partner, sidled up to him and handed him a foam cup full of warm
coffee, then gestured over toward a bandaged bookseller perched on the counter,
"Lieutenant, we got a live one here."
Juan took a sip of coffee,
grunted affirmatively, and answered, "Man, that's good coffee. Are
you ever going to tell me where you get this stuff?"
Wilson's eyes twinkled,
"State secret, sir."
He chuckled, "You know I
could find out if I really wanted to. I am a detective."
The bookseller had a look in
his eye that Juan hadn't seen since he'd served in the first Gulf War.
The faraway stare. What the lad had seen was so shocking that his brain
was completely unable to process it. Shell-shocked. But worse.
Juan leaned down and asked
quietly, "What's your name, son?
He said haltingly, "Bil . .
. ly."
"Billy, can you tell me what
happened here?"
Billy continued to stare into the
distance, "I dunno, sir. They were like zombies. There was a
whole mob of them shuffling towards us. They were pawing the air with one
hand and holding up their Nooks with the other. They had flecks of
spittle flying from their mouths as they mumbled the same things over and over
again . . ."
Juan briefly made eye contact,
"This is important Billy. What were they saying?"
Billy hesitated, "They were
saying stuff like, 'What's a cart?' or 'Can I plug this into my computer?' or
'Can I watch Matlock on here?' It was horrible . . .
horrible."
Wilson plucked a still glowing
Nook from beneath his feet, "Let's see what we have on here . . .
America (9781621572039) 29.99 by Dinesh D'Souza, Blood Feud: The
Clintons vs. The Obamas (9781621573135) 27.99 by Edward Klein, Ben Carson's
One Nation (9781595231123) 25.95 and Tom Clancy's Support and Defend (9780399173349)
28.95. Well, if Tom Clancy wrote it, he'd have to be a zombie by
now."
Juan ignored his last comment and
sighed, "Yup, it's definitely old people."
Odds
& Sods
For some
inexplicable reason, there are not many good Michigan biking books available
right now. Fortunately, Robert Downes has stepped into the breach
with his new release, Biking Northern Michigan (9780990467007)
13.95. Just to be clear, this book only covers the northern part of
Michigan's lower peninsula, so as not to confuse our Yooper friends. But
hey, it's a start . . .
At first I
thought that Mark Rea's The Legends: Ohio State Buckeyes (9781939710109)
22.00 was one of those joke blank books like What Every Man Knows About
Women. But apparently this is a legitimate book about their football
program. Go figure . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment