Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"And now she's a little boy in Spain,
Playing pianos filled with flames . . ."
                                                                                --Neutral Milk Hotel, Holland 1945

Dearest Mick--

  Chip, my loyal manservant, and I had just returned from the Kremlin as the U.S. special envoy in an attempt to defuse the Crimean situation.  I spoke with Vladimir Putin, but as you can tell from this morning's headlines, it was ineffectual at best.  So to console ourselves, Chip cracked open a bottle of Jeroboam of Chateau-Mouton Rothschild, 1945 and we perused your latest collection of books that had arrived via the parcel post.
  I was surprised to see Chip pull the PBS channel triple play out of your box.  I believe that all three of these authors have been vigorously hawking their wares during PBS pledge year.  The ubiquitous Dr. Wayne Dyer has promoted his memoir I Can See Clearly Now (9781401944032) 27.95, which reminded me of the hit song from Johnny Nash.  Also, there was Mark Hyman's Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet (9780316230025) 28.00 and finally, Mr. Perlmutter's Grain Brain (9780316234801) 27.00 to complete the triumvirate of PBS titles.  Mick, you may not know this, but I helped Harty Gunn create what we now know as PBS back in 1970.  I provided the seed money, so you could say I was the first actual donor.


  Your next book, The Sibley Guide to Birds, 2nd Edition (9780307957900) 40.00, Chip reverentially lifted from the box in a glowing nimbus of light.  This is considered by many to be the bible for birders nationwide.  In my younger days, I was quite the avid birder.  My outdoorsman friend Theodore Roosevelt and I would traipse through the virgin veldt of Yellowstone Park in search of obscure avian species.  In fact, on one of our expeditions, the Secretary of State had to send out a contingent of soldiers to track Teddy down to alert him to the Venezuelan Crisis of 1902.

  And your choice of Five: A Salute to Nicklas Lidstom (9781467596671) 20.00 was truly inspired.  Nick is the second greatest defenseman in the history of the NHL.  I would still have to say that my good friend Bobby Orr was the greatest ever.  However, I believe it was a classy move on the part of the Detroit Red Wings to hang his illustrious jersey in the rafters of Joe Louis Arena.  I have been a loyal hockey fan since I suggested to Lord Stanley, then the Governor-General of Canada, that there should be some sort of trophy for the top ranking team in the amateur hockey league.  I mentioned that, perhaps, a silver cup would be the ideal vehicle to commemorate this accomplishment.  The rest, as they say, is history.                 

                                                                                      Warmest Regards,
                                                                              Charles Edmund Wilson III

Odds & Sods

Jonathan Rand has been cranking 'em out lately.  We received his latest title, American Chiller #39: Angry Army Ants Ambush Alabama (9781893699540) 5.99 on Monday and it's selling faster than a scalded haint . . .

Speaking of the South, I've been reading the Holly George-Warren biography on Alex Chilton entitled A Man Called Destruction (9780670025633) 27.95.  Mr. Chilton is probably the greatest singer-songwriter you've never heard of, and he fronted Big Star, the best band you've probably never heard of.  He was immortalized in The Replacements hit, 'Alex Chilton' and he is most famous as the front man for The Boxtops.  As you can see, I'm a huge fan.   


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