Thursday, February 6, 2014

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"Eager to put as many miles between himself and Thirty Four Corners,
Matt Jensen just can't bring himself to leave without trying to stop
the bloodshed.  But it's going to take a lot more bullets, just as many bodies,
and the steely courage of an intrepid frontiersman to let this ravaged town live again . . .
                    --Matt Jensen: Torture Town (9780786033423) 7.50

Thirty Four Corners (Torture Town)
Over 1,500 people live in Thirty Four Corners.  The beautiful backdrop of the Rocky Mountains frames a town that is inexplicably painted red.  Built by cattle barons in the 1860s, Thirty Four Corners is a charming mixture of murder and mayhem.  It is a pleasant place to stop on your ride between Denver and Colorado Springs.  Torture Town is credited with the invention of the word game Hangman.

Planning Your Time
If you're in the mood for masochism, there are innumerable sights for you to see in Torture Town.  I stopped and spoke with a local on the porch of the Torture Museum.  His young son was slowly burning ants to death with a magnifying glass, and he was reading Gillian Flynn's Dark Places (9780307341570) 14.00.  I asked, "Hey, have you ever shot a man just for snoring?"  And he light-heartingly replied, "No sir.  But I have shot a man for asking me stupid questions."  I hurriedly went inside the museum.  The Torture Museum is a must-see for all visitors to this quaint village.  It is directly across from the Hangman's platform in the town square.  From the Spanish Inquisition to our very own Abu Ghraib, there are wonderful displays that chronicle man's inhumanity to man throughout history.  And, of course, there are plenty of interactive exhibits for the children, which include: tying a hangman's noose, fun with the guillotine, and the warm embrace of the Iron Maiden.  Don't forget to stop in Joe's Torture Town bookstore.  From the tomes of the Marquis de Sade to Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (9780062082848) 60.00, every castigatory creation in literature is here for a visitor's purchase. They also carry national bestsellers like Sarah Addison Allen's Lost Lake (9781250019806) 25.99, Anna Quindlen's Still Life With Bread Crumbs (9781400065752) 26.00 and, of course James Patterson's First Love (9780316207041) 26.00, which some readers may consider to be an entirely different sort of punishment.


Sleeping in Torture Town            
$ The Stocks are just a stone's throw from the Hangman's platform.  You can sleep uncomfortably in them for only $5 a night, and it is a great option for tourists on a tight budget. Make sure to check the weather first.  Also, these accommodations are not recommended in the fall when rotten fruit and vegetables are readily accessible.   
Odds & Sods

First there was Homer, then Cream's Tales of Brave Ulysses, and now the Newbery Award-winning Flora & Ulysses (9780763660406) 17.99 has issued the irresistible siren's call for children's readers.  We have a limited quantity back in stock . . .

 Speaking of large bodies of water, the new 3rd edition of Lake Superior: The Ultimate Guide to the Region (9781938229176) 19.95 has been released.  Lake Superior Magazine has cobbled together everything you need to know about the world's largest freshwater lake.  With this handy reference manual, it won't take you ten years to find your way home . . . 

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