"I think this is irresponsible preaching and very dangerous, and especially when slanted towards children, I think its totally irresponsible, because I see nothing biblical that points up to our being in the last days, and I think its an outrageous thing to do, and a lot of people are making a living -- they've been making a living for 2,000 years -- preaching that we're in the last days . . ."A man in a trenchcoat and a beaten fedora stood beneath a lone streetlight. The light flickered on and off randomly, like a bug zapper on the fritz. As the man began to slide the manhole cover over the opening, he stopped, reached inside his pocket, pulled out a book, and tossed it down the hole.
--Charles M. Schulz
He said, "Hey Rupert, here's a copy of Apocalypse 2012 (9780767924481) 14.95. Enjoy! It'll give you something to do until the police get here. Ha, ha!"
He reached into another pocket and retrieved an electronic gadget that was a tangle of wires and switches. He flicked a switch, placed it atop the manhole cover, and said, "And now a portable force field and my work is done. Ha, ha!"
B. TRAVEN JR. -- CONSPIRACY THEORIST AT LARGE
B. Traven Jr. here. You may remember me from Scott Wolter's new History Channel show America Unearthed or as the uncredited co-author of his book, The Kensington Runestone (9781581755626) 29.95. However, what I like to do most of all -- when I'm not thwarting the apocalyptic schemes of criminal masterminds -- is enjoy a good, quirky read.
It is the beginning of the year, and major media outlets are awash in their lists that highlight the best books of the previous year. I have decided to create my own annual award for the best bizarre book title of the year: The B. Traven Awards. Here are the inaugural winners:
Jonas Jonasson's The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared (9781401324643) 15.99
A worldwide bestseller, Jonas has proven that the Swedes can write humor as well as the ubiquitous grim murder mysteries.
Peter Trachtenberg's Another Insane Devotion (9780738215266) 24.00
Mr. Trachtenberg's love of cats is his insane devotion. This is the perfect book for your crazy aunt who has thirty cats, who will die, and then will be found weeks later . . . and I suspect you know how this ends.
David Wong's This Book is Full of Spiders (9780312546342) 25.99
Invisible spiders crawling into people's brains AND turning them into zombies! Sounds like just another day at the office for me. Ha, ha!
Odds & Sods
Not only did my brother share the flu bug with me over New Years, but I did get the opportunity to see what books he bought his fiancee. They were Bill O'Reilly's Killing Kennedy (9780805096668) 28.00, Caroline Kennedy's Listening In (9781401324568) 40.00, and Kitty Kelley's Capturing Camelot (9780312643423) 29.99. Hmm, it looks like I won't be the only Kennedy fan in the family. I wouldn't have learned that from glancing at her e-reader. And speaking of beloved dearly departed Presidents, we have more copies of Doris Kearns Goodwin's Team of Rivals (9780743270755) 21.00 back in stock . . .