Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Ye Olde Partners Page

*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*

"Call out the instigators
Because there's something in the air
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here, and you know it's right . . ."
--John 'Speedy' Keen, Something in the Air

Double D just called with a manical tinge to his voice and insisted I rush over to his house. He said that it was an 'Emergency.' I kinda think of myself as the Randolph Mantooth to his Kevin Tighe, so I wasted no time in running down the street, negotiating my way past his mom, and leaping down the stairs two at a time into his smoky incense-laden basement.

I was out of breath and coughing from the haze of smoke that seemed to hover right at head level. After hacking for a couple of seconds, I managed to blurt out, "Dude, *cough* what's the *cough* emergency?"

Double D was sitting on his 'bridge,' which was an over-sized desk surrounded by three 24'' computer monitors. He looked up from his chair, a bit glassy-eyed, and said, "Dude, can you believe that they're rebooting Total Recall? Didn't the movie studios learn from the Conan the Barbarian debacle that you don't mess with Arnold's movies?"

I'm incredulous, "Dude, this is the *cough* reason that I rushed over here!?"

He laughs, "Dude, calm down. No, the real 'emergency' is the Chicon 7 science fiction convention. John Scalzi, who wrote Redshirts (9780765316998) 24.99 that great parody on Star Trek (which will be on-sale at all fine bookstores on June 5), is the toastmaster. Also, Gene Wolfe will be there, along with a bunch of people I've never heard of before. I'm smelling a road trip to Chicago!"

I mull it over, "Hmmm, I guess there will be lots of hot babes dressed as their favourite sci-fi characters . . ."

After a silence, which seemed like an eternity, Double D finally responds, "Really? That's what you're going with?" He shakes his head dismissively, "We need to pick out some books to take and here's what I have so far. Hank Haney's The Big Miss: My Years Coaching Tiger Woods (9780307985989) 26.00 has been getting a good buzz. I guess Hank spills all the beans on Tiger."

I do my Mr. Haney impression from Green Acres to respond, "Instead of usin' Mr. Haney's Golf Coaching Business, Tiger shoulda used that there Mr. Haney's Shut My Mouth And Mind My Own Business Business. Nope, no more Tiger."

"Alriiiight, how about Miranda July's It Chooses You (9781936365012) 24.00. It's a book by a screenwriter about procrastination. It sounds like you."

I use my Yakoff Smirnoff voice to reply, "In Russia . . . it chooses you."


"Double D, can't we go over this some other time. I think I'd just rather read George R.R. Martin's A Clash of Kings (9780345535429) 8.99 again."

Odds & Sods

Way back in November, I was privileged to join Owen Laukkanen for dinner in Okemos. His first novel The Professionals (9780399157899) 25.95 was outstanding. I don't usually read crime novels, but I couldn't put this one down. Part of it was set in Detroit, and as a former resident, I checked to see if he got it right, and lo and behold, he did. Owen is Canadian and a hockey fan; he's awesome. So stop dilly-dallying and buy his book . . .

It hasn't been getting much press so you may not be aware that there is a 'Hunger Games' movie. The Hunger Games Trilogy Set (9780545265355) 53.97 is hot, and we are expecting more stock in a day or two . . .

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