Ye Olde Partners Page

*The New and Improved Rock 'N Roll Edition*

"Forward he cried from the rear
And the front rank died
And the General sat, as the lines on the map
Moved from side to side . . ."
--Roger Waters, Us and Them

1) YOU DON'T KNOW DICK . . . Somewhere in that miasma of data that is known as the internet, I learned that former President Dick Cheney has written an autobiography. Like a modern day Percy Fawcett from The Lost City of Z (9781400078455) 15.95, I had to hew my way through a tangle of undergrowth on the web that announced important news like Kim Kardashian's wedding and that Lindsay Lohan is wearing a Pippa style dress, but finally, I stumbled upon something useful -- the New York Times review of Dick Cheney's In My Time (9781439176191) 35.00. I believe one sentence in Mr. Kakutani's review summed it up nicely, "Indeed, the memoir -- delivered in dry, often truculent prose -- turns out to be a mostly predictable mix of spin, stonewalling, score settling and highly selective reminiscences . . ."

Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore^TM butts in, "I am awarding GryffindorTM five points for the use of the word 'truculent.'"

So yeah, it's just what I imagined. The title reminded me of a Led Zeppelin song:

"In my time of dying, want nobody to mourn,
All I want for you to do is take my body home . . ."

However, if you do want to relive the glory days of the Bush administration, we should have more stock back in on Monday . . .

2) I MISS BON SCOTT . . . I wish I could do the mincing guitar lick leading into this song, but the lyrics will have to suffice (sung to AC/DC's Thunderstruck):

"Oh, Wonderstruck, yeah
We're reading under a tree
Can you turn the page please

Wonderstruck, Wonderstruck
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Wonderstruck
Wonderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah


Said he can write
Drawing with lines
Yeah, it's alright
He'll do fine . . ."

Brian Selznick's long awaited title, Wonderstruck (9780545027892) 29.99, will be available at all fine bookstores on September 13. Check your stock . . .

Odds & Sods

Yesterday, I saw something somewhere on Drew Magary's The Postmortal (9780143119821) 15.00. The premise sounded intriguing. A near-future world where aging has been vanquished. People can still die via accident and the like, but if you're careful then you can live for many lifetimes. Some obvious problems are an ever faster growing population, and some not so obvious, such as career long home run records. Today I am sold on it because of his Book Brahmin interview in Shelf-Awarness; you can read it here:
http://www.shelf-awareness.com/issue.html/?issue=1547#m1313
Anybody who lists Motley Crue's The Dirt as their favourite title is okay in my book . . .

Ye Olde Partners Page

*News From the Glamorous World of Bookselling*

"Then she appeared, brittle shooting star that dropped in my lap
Then she appeared, dressed in tricolour and Phrygian cap
I was a little troubled
Hookah with my senses bubbled . . ."
--Andy Partridge, Then She Appeared

STONER BILL & THE PHANTOM PENANCE

"Dude, roadtrip!"

"Roadtrip?"

Hola, folks, Stoner Bill here. Doctor Delay and I are hanging out in his mom's basement, and of course, we're up to our usual mischief. For some inexplicable reason Double D is shoving a book flyer in my face.

I'm like, "Whoa, Dude, stop harshin' my buzz. What the hell is that thing?"

Dr. Delay is pretty antimated, well for him anyway, and says, "Two of my favorite authors are appearing at the same time in the same place. Patrick Rothfuss, author of The Wiseman's Fear (9780756404734) 29.95 and Ernest Cline, author of Ready Player One (9780307887436) 24.00 are both autographing at McLean & Eakin Booksellers in Petoskey."

I snatch the flyer from him, scan it quickly, and say, "Dude, I hope this much awesomeness in one place doesn't cause a disruption in the spacetime continuum."

Dr. Delay is practically giddy, "Dude, so instead of taking more pictures of the stuff in my mom's house and then e-mailing the photos to http://www.crapatmyparentshouse.com/, we can spend the weekend in beautiful downtown Petoskey."

I'm like, "Dude, I wouldn't worry about the photos anymore. We just got the tie-in book Crap At My Parents' House (9781419700736) 14.95 by Joel Dovev and you're not going to top any of the pictures in there."

"Really? Are there disturbing ceramic clown statues?"

"Yup."

"Evil looking stuffed animals?"

"Yup."

"Insanely huge doll collections?"

"Yup."

Dr. Delay shakes his fist impotently at the heavens, "Damn you, Joel Dovev!" he chuckles and then continues, "Really it's no big deal. It will give me more time to read Big Jon's If These Walls Could Talk: Michigan Football Stories from the Big House (9781600786570) 14.95, which just came out in tradepaper."

I say, "Sounds good. I'm going to go home and randomly start calling Barnes & Nobles around the country and see if they have HP TouchPads for $100 each."

"Dude, those HP TouchPads were only at the website. Not in the stores."

"I know. I just need to kill some time before I pack for Petoskey. Roadtrip!"

Dr. Delay smiles, "Roadtrip!"

Odds & Sods

If you want to get in on the ground floor, now is your time to purchase the children's book Acoustic Rooster and His Barnyard Band (9781585366880) 15.95 by Kwame Alexander. We've been down this road a few times before, and we all know what happens next. Ala Bob Dylan and T. Rex, Acoustic Rooster is going to go electric and alienate his original fans. So, pick this up before its too late . . .

Connie Willis' All Clear (9780553592887) 16.00 won the Hugo Award for Best Novel, which comes out in trade- paper in October. I tried reading Doomsday Book years ago, but it just didn't work for me.
Maybe I'll give this one a try too . . .

Ye Olde Partners Page

*News From the Glamorous World of Bookselling*

"Quentin Tarantino is interested in watching someone's ear getting cut off; David Lynch is interested in the ear . . ."
--David Foster Wallace

A DAY AT THE MATINEE

Let's talk about movies. It seems like every decent book, or not so decent book, is being made into a movie these days. And the popularity of the movie is somehow reflected in the sales of the accompanying book. I'm sure somebody somewhere has created a formula to illustrate this point, but we'll save that for later. Suffice it to say: Dollars and cents, this is how we measure success in America.

For me, I tend to watch movies when I don't want to think and I read books when I do. With the sales of movie tie-ins lately, it would seem the American public does want to think (a bit) and explore the backstories to their favourite movies. And verily, I did try to warn you about Kathryn Stockett's The Help (9780425245132) 16.00 in last week's missive. You would have thought that anybody who could possibly want to read this book must have read it by now, but one thing I have learned in this business is that is never true. We are sold out. It should be back in stock in a day or two. A close second in the movie tie-in sweepstakes would be Tatiana de Rosnay's Sarah's Key (9781250004345) 13.99, which stars a bunch of French actors that I 've never heard of. And finally, to complete the trifecta, we have Mr. Nicholls' One Day (9780307946713) 14.95, which features Anne Hathaway on the cover. Mmmmm, Anne Hathaway.

I have a couple of suggestions in the realm of film that I would like to share with you. Julie from Green Bay recommended the BBC-TV show Black Books. Mr. Black owns a bookstore in London and not only is he cynical and cantankerous, but a horrible, horrible drunkard to boot. So basically, he's your garden variety bookstore owner. He says and does what you've only dreamed of doing to your intellectually-challenged customers. Also, Nikki from The Spirit Keepers suggested I watch Black Robes, which follows a Jesuit priest and a band of Indians in the Great Lakes region during the 17th century. I will warn you that there is some graphic violence and a bit of NSFW sex in it. So in other words, for me, it was just another typical Tuesday. But seriously, it blew Dances with Wolves away.

Finally, I don't know about you, but I am getting sick to death of hearing about J.K. Rowling's new website Moneymore^TM. The latest article said, "Something something e-books something something Sony's footing the bill something something." Well, good for her. Thank God, those ridiculous movies are finally done. Speaking of fantasy, George Arr Arr Martin's signed scripts of the last two episodes of A Game Of Thrones (9780553593716) 8.99, which were enroute from Ireland to Worldcon, have been swiped in transit. "It's as if thousands of nerds suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced . . ." Mr. Martin was going to auction them off and donate the proceeds to charity, so it was going for a good cause. Give him a jingle if you see them on eBay . . .

Odds & Sods

Thomas W. Young popped in here to sign copies of his latest title, Silent Enemy (9780399157790) 25.95. He told me that the plot centered around a military plane leaving Afghanistan that has a bomb on it. The twist is that the bomb will only be triggered if they get below a certain altitude. So I said, "I guess the tagline for the movie will be 'Speed meets Air Force One.'" Well, I thought it was pretty clever . . .

Speaking of success and great literature, James Patterson, author of Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life (9780316101875) 15.99 topped Forbes' list as the highest paid writer for the past year. Congrats!

Ye Olde Partners Page

*News From the Glamorous World of Bookselling*

"Can you honestly tell me you forgot? Forgot the magnetism of Robin Zander, or the charisma of Rick Nielsen? Or how 'bout the tunes? I want YOU . . . to want ME . . ."
--Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High

1) DREAM POLICE . . . Just in time for Banned Books Week^TM (9/24 --10/1), the school board of Republic High School of Missouri has banned both Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five (9780440180296) 7.99 and Sarah Ockler's Twenty Boy Summer (9780316051583) 8.99 due to the complaints of one parent. In an ironic twist that even Kurt Vonnegut would have appreciated, the Dickensian-named Wesley Scroggins not only doesn't have any children in the Republic High School, but he had already home schooled his own kids. However, the school board voted to ban it due to these titles creating 'false conceptions of American history and government or that teach principles contrary to Biblical morality and truth'. Or as Helen Lovejoy might say, "Won't somebody please think of the children?!" In response, the director of the Kurt Vonnegut Memorial Library has offered a free copy of his book to any of the 150 students who attend Republic High School. On a personal note, I still remember the day I discovered Breakfast Of Champions (9780385334204) 15.00 in my high school library and what a profound effect it had on my life. I realized that I wasn't alone. I believe other teenagers should have this same opportunity. And if you don't get the joke, and some readers certainly won't, they can always check out Ayn Rand instead. And so it goes . . .

2) CAN'T HOLD ON . . . Sleeper Alert! Sometimes I do notice trends here at Partners Central Book Command. And there have been a couple titles that have been trending their way right out of our warehouse. Helen Schulman's This Beautiful Life (9780062024381) 24.95, which chronicles what happens when an explicit video sent to a boyfriend goes viral and the impact it has on their lives. As my mother once said to me, "Mick, always be careful what you post on-line." The other title is a bit more quirky and it's called A Book Of Secrets: Illegitimate Daughters and Absent Fathers (9780374115586) 26.00 by Michael Holroyd. I think Dwight Foster did the best job of describing this book when he said, "This book is a richly marbled meditation not only on the lives of several remarkable women but also on the art of biography itself . . ." We have sold out on both of these titles, and so are the publishers. Backorder accordingly . . .

3) SOUTHERN GIRLS . . . You would have thought that everyone who wanted to read The Help (9780425232200) & (9780425245132) 16.00 by Kathryn Stockett would have read it by now. I would be wrong. Stock up . . .

Odds & Sods

The lovely and vivacious Sapphire, author of Push (9780679766759) 13.00 popped in here yesterday to sign copies of her latest title, The Kid (9781594203046) 25.95. I'm not sure what I expected, but she had to be one of the funniest and nicest authors that I've ever met. Her signed copies,as usual, are on a first- come, first-served basis.

Yes, we are out of Richard Paul Evans' Michael Vey: The Prisoner of Cell Block 25 (9781451656503) 17.99, which you may have heard promoted on Glenn Beck's radio show. The publisher is out, too. They are expecting more stock next week. You know the drill . . .

Ye Olde Partners Page

*News From the Glamorous World of Bookselling*

"I was very pleased, obviously, to have outsold such great writers. But I'm not insane -- I do realize that I am a popular writer who people buy to take on vacation . . ."
--Maeve Binchy

Dearest Mick--

Chip, my loyal manservant, and I had just finished installing my newfangled satellite radio when your gift box arrived via the parcel post. As you well know, I am a huge fan of that great American Glenn Beck. I have come to miss his chalkboard and his well-reasoned conspiracy theories since I have moved to Napoli, so imagine my elation when we tuned him in and Mr. Beck was touting a new title called Michael Vey: The Prisoner of Cell Block 25 (9781451656503) 17.99. I was disappointed that you had not sent me a copy until I realized that the on-sale date is next Tuesday. I cannot recall if I had mentioned to you that I had been incarcerated in a Turkish prison during The Great War after Winston Churchill's Gallipoli fiasco. A detestable place. Of course, Turkey was known as the Ottoman Empire in those days, and I can see you have sent a copy of Orlando Figes' brilliant history, The Crimean War (9780805074604) 35.00. In fact, the Turks were on our side in that lovely war. The Charge of the Light Brigade and all that bloody nonsense.

I know you try to keep me current with all the latest trends, and I suspect Jim Butcher's Ghost Story (9780451463791) 27.95 is another case in point. Well, I'll let you know, Mick, that I was performing seances with Aleister Crowley and he was spewing this paranormal balderdash long before you were born. There really is nothing new under the sun.

And then Chip pulled Yannick Murphy's The Call (9780062023148) 27.95 out of the box. I was a bit puzzled at first. So let me try this . . .

Call: A bottle of Dom Perignon 1927 is for sale.
Action: Purchase immediately.
Result: Got drunk.
Thoughts while spinning in bed: I hope I don't get the dry heaves.
What Chip said to me: Do you want a bucket?

I will also pretend that I did not notice Mike Moreno's book The 17 Day Diet (9781451648652) 25.00 in your care package. If I feel like I am overweight, I will try something crazy like eating less and exercising more. As always, your gifts are appreciated.

Yours Truly,

Charles Edmund Wilson III

Odds & Sods

Rainn Wilson, my favourite character from the American version of 'The Office' reminisces about his dork days here: http://herocomplex.latimes.com/2011/07/29/rainn-wilson-geeks-out-my-10-favorite-sci-fi-and-fantasy-covers/#/0 . It made me wonder what books I would put on my list. So here goes:

Isaac Asimov's
The Caves of Steel (9780553293401) 7.99 or The End of Eternity (9780765319197) 15.99

Arthur C. Clarke's
Rendezvous with Rama
(unavailable)

Robert Heinlein's
Starship Troopers
(9780441783588) 9.99

and Roger Zelzany's
9 Princes in Amber
(unavailable)

Good times, good times . . .