Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ye Olde Partners Page

*News From the Glamorous World of Bookselling*

"They say the immigrants steal the hubcaps
Of the respected gentlemen
They say it would be wine an' roses
If England were for Englishmen again . . ."
--The Clash, Something About England

B. Traven Jr. here. You may remember me from the History Channel's ratings blockbuster 9/11 Conspiracies: Fact or Fiction, and I bet you can guess what side of the fence I fell on. It certainly wasn't the voice of reason. Ha, ha! Actually I was going over Dave Goldberg's calculations for a space trip to the Earth-like planet Zarmina when Mick called. He said he was packing for GLiBA this weekend and asked if I would write the Partners Page. I said sure but asked if he knew that a matter-antimatter space drive could allow humans to reach this planet in 22.4 years. Mick then claimed that a matter-antimatter space drive does not even exist. I said, "Balderdash!" It has been well-documented that scientists have reverse engineered this space drive from the alien vessel that crashed at Roswell. Ha, ha!

The Social Network is the #1 movie in the country and it is based on Ben Mezrich's book, The Accidental Billionaires (9780307740984) 15.95. Mark Zuckerberg became the 'Accidental Billionaire' with the creation of Facebook. Sorry, Ben, as we well know, there are no 'Accidental Billionaires.' Billionaires can only be made with the approval of their fellow Bilderberg members. Ha, ha!

David Sedaris' new book is Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk (9780316038393) 21.99, which may sound humorous to you, but it's not as far-fetched as you may think. I have proof that geneticists in Sri Lanka have spliced together both squirrel and chipmunk DNA. I believe they called it a Chuirrel. In fact, I know that several of the animals have escaped the test facility and it has become a real-life Island of Dr. Moreau (9780553214321) 4.95 down there. True story.

Meanwhile in merry ol' England, Shelf-Awareness reports: "Jonathan Franzen's overseas tour started bizarrely last week with the recall of Freedom's (9780374158460) 28.00 first UK printing, then got really interesting when a man stole the author's glasses during a book launch in London and then subsequently demanded a US$158,856 ransom. BBC News reported that a 27-year-old man was arrested after a chase that included a helicopter and ended with the glasses thief jumping into the Serpentine lake in London. He 'has since been released with no further action being taken and the glasses have been recovered . . .'" Sounds like there's a book in there someplace. And there is no truth to the rumour that B. Traven Jr. was involved in this caper at all. Ha, ha!

And remember as Robert Heinlein said, "Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny."

Odds & Sods

Blue Balliett, author of the bestselling YA title Chasing Vermeer (9780439372978) 7.99 will be stopping by today to sign copies of her latest book, The Danger Box (9780439852098) 16.99. As usual they will be available on a first come, first served basis.

Vince Flynn's latest American Assassin (9781416595182) 27.99 goes on sale October 12. Fortunately B. Traven Jr. didn't notice this one or we would have had the longest Partners Page ever.

James Archambeault has released Kentucky III (9780929818399) 45.00. As usual his celebration of The Bluegrass State in photos is gorgeous . . .

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