Thursday, September 2, 2010

Ye Olde Partners Page

*News From the Glamorous World of Bookselling*
"The Franzen cannot be stopped, only contained . . ."
--Anonymous
B. TRAVEN JR. -- CONSPIRACY THEORIST AT LARGE

B. Traven Jr. here. You may remember me from the television show Ancient Aliens on the History Channel. And no, I'm not the guy with the horrible German accent. That's Erich Von Daniken (and there should be two little dots above the 'a' in Daniken). That nut should have been locked up years ago. Ha,ha!

Mick asked if I could set aside my latest project, the book The Franzen Factor, and write this week's Partners Page. I said, "Mick, no problem. You're a great guy and I'm always willing to help you out." Also, my latest book The Franzen Factor is tangentially related to a huge new release in the book business called Freedom (9780374158460) 28.00 by Jonathan Franzen. My hypothesis is that Jonathan Franzen and Detroit Red Wings forward Johan Franzen were separated at birth. Jonathan set out to control the world of literature and Johan has dominated the NHL. Their appearances are uncannily similar:



As a colleague mentioned, one of them is the brains and the other is the brawn. And with Oprah Winfrey retiring soon, she will no longer be the dominatrix of publishing and Jonathan Franzen will be able to move into that power vacuum. Look out James Patterson. Ha, ha!

Speaking of Oprah Winfrey, she will have at least one last hurrah with her book club. Oprah Book Club #64 (9780312600846) 28.00 will be announced on September 17. I understand Partners is getting alot of backorders, so I would put my order in as soon as possible. The real question is: What will Oprah do next? If you're interested, I am exploring her myriad possibilities in my upcoming title, The Last Empress. Available soon at all fine bookstores. Ha, ha!

David Limbaugh, Rush's brother, has caught the tiger by the tail in his new book, Crimes Against Liberty (9781596986244) 29.95. We're talking conspiracy theorist heaven here. I'm sure he touches on the FEMA Death Camps for Conservatives, the Death Panels in the Healthcare Bill, and the attempt by Muslims to create a new Mecca at Ground Zero. Also, there are Average Joes like former Congressman Dick Armey, author of Give Us Liberty (9780062015877) 19.99, and creator of the grassroots organization, the Tea Baggers, to call out President Obama on his diabolical schemes to turn us into Cuba. Ha, ha!

And remember as Robert Heinlein said, "Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny."

Sci-Fi Corner

The guy standing in for Robert Jordan, Brandon Sanderson has begun a new fantasy series with the first book, The Way of Kings (9780765326355) 27.99. If you like fantasy, he's the best thing since George R.R. Martin.

The Millennium Falcon, the ship that set the record on the 18-parsec Kessel Run is now in glorious 3-D. Millenium Falcon: YT-1300 (9780545210386) 21.99 has been broken down by section in this new title. And yes, Han shot first.

I've been doing some informal research, and it appears to me that more adults are reading Suzanne Collin's Mockinjay (9780439023511) 17.99 than children. We have copies in the stash . . .

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