Ye Olde Partners Page
*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"No tears to cry no feelings left
This species has amused itself to death . . ."
--Roger Waters, Amused to Death
AMERICA IN THE 26TH CENTURY
(Long after our demise, the Arcturians, an alien race, stumbled upon our dead planet Earth. The Arcturians are large beetle-like creatures with four tentacles in lieu of arms and legs. From the remaining flotsam and jetsam of our civilization, their archaeologists have tried to piece together how such a successful dominant species ultimately went extinct. They have preserved the Earth intact as a cautionary tale for other alien races. Also, once an Arcturian year, which runs 720 of our Earth days, they bring their unmolted children on a Grand Tour, which culminates in a visit to the local library.)
Adult Tour Guide: My young larvae, we have been able to glean many things about the human species from these things called books. Their mating rituals were quite complicated, but we have been able to learn their intricacies from a book entitled Down the Rabbit Hole (9780062372109) 25.99 by Holly Madison. The most desirous available females were called Playboy bunnies. Apparently, the best males were chosen by status, often by their immense wealth and old age. Humans did not only mate to propagate their species but also for pleasure . . .
(There was a chorus of 'Ewwww!' from most of the larvae.)
A Larvae: Did the males fight to determine who was to mate with the females?
Adult Tour Guide: That's a bit of a shell scratcher. They did fight, but again, more for pleasure than to establish dominance for breeding. We have book about Usa (Pronounced: oo-sa), which was the supreme military nation in the 21st century, called Ghost Fleet (9780544142848) 28.00 by P.W. Singer and August Cole. Their military technology was very sophisticated for a non-interstellar culture. The Usians were fighting with another nation called China, who seemed to have specialized in eating utensils.
A Larvae: So their warrior caste was very powerful then?
Adult Tour Guide: It was, but there were also members of their species like Jerry Dennis and Glenn Wolf, author and illustrator of A Walk in the Animal Kingdom (9780990912521) 16.95, who respected the other animals and humans that inhabited their world. Their biosphere was once diverse. Unfortunately, large corporations destroyed their environment and wasted much of their natural resources. But what we really think caused their extinction was their entertainment. They quite literally amused themselves to death . . .
Odds & Sods
Until you have a baby, you cannot truly appreciate Sandra Boynton. She is the Queen of Boardbooks. Of course, I know it's a little early for Halloween, but it is Sandra Boynton and her Spooky Pookie (9780553512335) 5.99. Everybody loves hamming it up with Pookie, and for bookstores everywhere, it is sure to bring home the bacon. Mmmm, bacon.
On a serious note, we were saddened to learn that E.L. Doctorow passed away. Several years ago, I listened to him speak at the Wharton Centre and met him afterward at a meet and greet. He was genial and he was truly a class act . . .