Thursday, May 14, 2015

Sir Charles Edmund Wilson III

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*A Collection of Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
" I guess the rule here is money is free speech, unless that money speaks with a funny accent . . ."
                       -Jon Stewart commenting on Megyn Kelly and Clinton Cash (9780062369284) 27.99

 Dearest Mick--

  Chip, my loyal manservant, and I had returned early from one of Sheldon Adelson's Super PAC parties in Las Vegas when we found your parcel post package outside my villa's security gate.  (As an aside, when did politics become so unseemly?  Mr. Adelson was no better than a muppet with money.  And when I say 'muppet', I am not referring to the adorable Jim Henson puppets, but the archaic British definition of the word.)  We decided to open a bottle of Bordeaux Chateau Mouton Rothschild 1982 and peruse the contents of your box.
  I was tickled to see Chip pull out a copy of Laura Ingalls Wilder's Pioneer Girl (9780984504176) 39.95.  You may not be aware that I courted Miss Ingalls when I worked as a stock boy at the Oleson's General Store in Walnut Grove.  In fact, our relationship had become so serious that we began bundling on the weekends.  Unfortunately, Almanzo Wilder reared his ugly head and the rest is, as they say, history.

I did have Chip read Willie Nelson's It's a Long Story (9780316403559) 30.00 to me before responding in this letter.  I was not entirely sure how much his continuous consumption of the marihuana had addled his brain.  Apparently, a lot.  There is no mention of me bailing Willie out of debt in the 1980s, or anything about our trip across America on the train The City of New Orleans.  I was very disappointed.  I did not want to do this, but I have asked Chip to remove him from our Christmas card list.

  I also see that you have included my good friend James Patterson's 14th Deadly Sin (9780316407021) 28.00, which was actually written by Maxine Paetro.  I remember when Mr. Patterson first hit the bestseller lists and he said to me, "Charlie, I can't keep up with the pace.  The publisher wants a new book every six months!"  And I said, "Calm down.  You just need to find yourself a good ghost writer and that way you will have more time to work on your tennis game."  (And his game has not improved one whit.)

  As for Kim Kardashian's Selfish (9780789329202) 19.95, which you've seen fit to include in your selection, I can picture you snickering to yourself as you placed it in the box.  However, I do not believe one could produce a more appropriate title for her book.  I will leave it at that.  

                                                                                    Warmest Regards,
                                                                         Sir Charles Edmund Wilson III

Odds & Sods

I believe everyone has heard the story of the three women in Cleveland who were held captive in a House of Horrors for nearly ten years.  John Glat tells their amazing story in The Lost Girls (9781250036360) 26.99.  Monsters do walk amongst us . . .

There is a new biography on legendary MSU basketball coach Tom Izzo and it's called

Mr. March (9781597255714) 34.95 by the Lansing State Journal and the Detroit Free Press.  It is a short discount (30%) and non-returnable, but stock is limited.  Go Green!  Go White!

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