*A Collection of
Antiquarian Curios & Relics*
"I didn't
think, I never dreamed
That I would be
around to see it all come true . . ."
--Paul McCartney, 1985
1985
Winston Smith had less than an
hour before the next two minute hate. He took a long drag from his
cigarette and laid it down in the cradle of his overflowing ashtray. He
glanced upward at the wisp of smoke and noticed the flickering fluorescent light above him. It was a sickly yellow. The putrid light was
further damped by an elephant graveyard of flying insects piled high on the
plastic divider between himself and the spasmatic neon tube. The
desiccated corpses of blue bottle flies, wasps, box elder bugs, and bees
threatened to snap the plastic shield, crash down, and bury him beneath
them. Suffocating him.
With a tinge of distaste, he looked
at the stack of books on his desk. These were some of the spoils from
Oceania's latest victory over Eastasia. As a member of the Ministry of
Truth, it was his job to determine if these books should be immediately
destroyed or made available to the Inner Party. His friend O'Brien had
nominated him for this position and the Party had graciously accepted him.
The first book was called True
Love (9780451468680) 29.95 by a Jennifer Lopez, or JLo as her fans knew
her. Apparently she was a pop star of some note. As if he had known
'true love' himself, Winston, for a moment, felt a flutter in his chest.
That couldn't be. He angrily stubbed out his cigarette. There is no
redeeming value in this book whatsoever. He opened the small chute next
to his desk and muttered, 'Damnatio Memoriae. Down the memoryhole with
you."
Winston peered at his computer
monitor, and briefly, very briefly, he wondered who might be watching him from
the other side. He picked up a hefty tome from the stack and placed it
between himself and the monitor. It was a biography of the Eurasian hero Napoleon:
A Life (9780670025329) 45.00 by Andrew Roberts. He panicked for a
second, 'Is Eurasia our ally or our enemy? Enemy!' He carefully
slid the book down the chute.
The next book posed a bit of a
conundrum. It was written in Oldspeak. It was 41: A
Portrait of a Father (9780553447781) 28.00 by George W. Bush. In his
previous position as a clerk in the Records Department, he had heard about the
United States. Both Bushes, father and son, had once been President
during their glory days. However, once South America and the remains of
the British Empire had been absorbed, it had become Oceania. He would
wait on this one . . .
Suddenly, Winston felt a splash
of water on his face and a voice said, "Time to wake up, 6079."
He was strapped to a chair and a
white light in his eyes blinded him. Reflexively, he shouted, "2 + 2
= 5!" He heard the thrum of a finger played on the ribs of a metal cage.
And then listened to the attendant squeaks of agitated, hungry rats.
There was a sad chuckle from his
interrogator, "I'm sorry, 6079. It won't be so easy this time . .
."
Odds
& Sods
Mena!
Mena! Mena! Filomena Castriciano, the owner of Roma's, which
happens to be my favourite bakery, has written the greatest Italian cookbook
ever. Specializing in Calabrian and Sicilian cuisine,
Cooking with
Mena (9780692292594)
24.95 is destined to become an instant classic. Steeped in Old World
traditions, Mena makes sure every child leaves her bakery with a free cookie .
. .
I've been
reading Richard Overy's A History of War in 100 Battles (9780199390717)
34.95, and as a veteran of many a war book, this is one of the most
well-written books in this genre. From Agincourt to the Falklands, he
covers all of the important battles. Two thumbs up!
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