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"Call out the instigators
Because there's something in the air
We've got to get together sooner or later
Because the revolution's here, and you know it's right . . ."
--John 'Speedy' Keen, Something in the Air

THE STONER BILL & DOCTOR DELAY TOTAL RECALL REBOOT

Double D just called with a manical tinge to his voice and insisted I rush over to his house. He said that it was an 'Emergency.' I kinda think of myself as the Randolph Mantooth to his Kevin Tighe, so I wasted no time in running down the street, negotiating my way past his mom, and leaping down the stairs two at a time into his smoky incense-laden basement.

I was out of breath and coughing from the haze of smoke that seemed to hover right at head level. After hacking for a couple of seconds, I managed to blurt out, "Dude, *cough* what's the *cough* emergency?"

Double D was sitting on his 'bridge,' which was an over-sized desk surrounded by three 24'' computer monitors. He looked up from his chair, a bit glassy-eyed, and said, "Dude, can you believe that they're rebooting Total Recall? Didn't the movie studios learn from the Conan the Barbarian debacle that you don't mess with Arnold's movies?"

I'm incredulous, "Dude, this is the *cough* reason that I rushed over here!?"

He laughs, "Dude, calm down. No, the real 'emergency' is the Chicon 7 science fiction convention. John Scalzi, who wrote Redshirts (9780765316998) 24.99 that great parody on Star Trek (which will be on-sale at all fine bookstores on June 5), is the toastmaster. Also, Gene Wolfe will be there, along with a bunch of people I've never heard of before. I'm smelling a road trip to Chicago!"

I mull it over, "Hmmm, I guess there will be lots of hot babes dressed as their favourite sci-fi characters . . ."

After a silence, which seemed like an eternity, Double D finally responds, "Really? That's what you're going with?" He shakes his head dismissively, "We need to pick out some books to take and here's what I have so far. Hank Haney's The Big Miss: My Years Coaching Tiger Woods (9780307985989) 26.00 has been getting a good buzz. I guess Hank spills all the beans on Tiger."

I do my Mr. Haney impression from Green Acres to respond, "Instead of usin' Mr. Haney's Golf Coaching Business, Tiger shoulda used that there Mr. Haney's Shut My Mouth And Mind My Own Business Business. Nope, no more Tiger."

"Alriiiight, how about Miranda July's It Chooses You (9781936365012) 24.00. It's a book by a screenwriter about procrastination. It sounds like you."

I use my Yakoff Smirnoff voice to reply, "In Russia . . . it chooses you."

*crickets*

"Double D, can't we go over this some other time. I think I'd just rather read George R.R. Martin's A Clash of Kings (9780345535429) 8.99 again."

Odds & Sods

Way back in November, I was privileged to join Owen Laukkanen for dinner in Okemos. His first novel The Professionals (9780399157899) 25.95 was outstanding. I don't usually read crime novels, but I couldn't put this one down. Part of it was set in Detroit, and as a former resident, I checked to see if he got it right, and lo and behold, he did. Owen is Canadian and a hockey fan; he's awesome. So stop dilly-dallying and buy his book . . .

It hasn't been getting much press so you may not be aware that there is a 'Hunger Games' movie. The Hunger Games Trilogy Set (9780545265355) 53.97 is hot, and we are expecting more stock in a day or two . . .

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"This is just a mild zephyr compared to the big wind of '67. Or was it, uh, '76? Oh well, no matter.
Oh, I remember the big blow well. It was the year my Aunt Clara went to visit her cousin. Now, her cousin was not only gifted on the glockenspiel, but being a screech owl, also sang soprano in the London Opera. You see, her constant practicing so unnerved my aunt, that she laid a seagull egg by mistake!"
--Owl, Winnie the Pooh & The Blustery Day

Dearest Mick--

Chip, my loyal manservant, and I had just finished speaking with my plucky entrepreneur friend Donald Trump via the Transatlantic cable when your parcel arrived. Donald was seeking my advice in regards to the recent media fallout from his sons' big game hunting safari in Africa. I, of course, regaled him with stories of my own hunting expeditions with Ernie Hemingway in the 1950s. I suggested that his best course of action was to say as little as possible (I know that is a really tall order for Donald.) and to just ride the media storm out. It wasn't like they were hunting homeless people on an uncharted sub-tropical island for sport. Now, that was a public relations nightmare. And as much as I like Napoli, I am not necessarily here by choice.

So on to the books, I was excited to see a copy of Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1 (9781607060765) 59.99 in the box. I'm not usually one for comic books, but I have been following the AMC TV series. The Hershel character reminds me of myself when I was a youngster. Of course, back then I was fighting real voodoo zombies in Jamaica with Sir William Rutherford. They were not these namby-pamby undead that you could finish off with a simple shot to the head. No, those zombies would keep coming at you headless or not. I tell you, dear boy, it still gives me the creeps.

I have quite a large cookbook collection, so I will add Ree Drummond's The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food From My Frontier (9780061997181) 29.99 to that wing of my library. When it came to book acquisitions, Mr. Carnegie was an amateur. But God bless him, we had some great times together.

At first, I was a bit baffled by the inclusion of Charles Duhigg's The Power of Habit (9781400069286) 28.00. I had not been a fan of nuns since my days of attending parochial school at St. Patricks in New York City. And then I read the subtitle and realized that he is speaking of the daily habits of our lives and business. Even though I am no longer involved in marketing, I do find it fascinating how advertisements can manipulate us. And as you well know, I did make my first million in the cigarette industry.

Well, it is time for bed. Chip has just turned the covers over. As always, your gifts are appreciated . . .

Warmest Regards,

Charles Edmund Wilson III



Odds & Sods

Alert! Alert! Attention all old sea captains! The Know Your Ships 2012 (9781891849152) 18.95 by Roger Lelievre is here! A-woo-ah! A-woo-ah! Order yours today!

Finally, we've already sold out of Katherine Yung's Coney Detroit (9780814335185) 24.95 once, but they came back in today. I wouldn't normally be this excited about a title like this, but it has a great cover and it will sell. In fact, I want to eat the bookcover -- it looks that good. They might want to consider a 'scratch 'n sniff' version. And as a friend once said, "You can't tell a book by its cover, but I can tell if a book is going to sell by its cover."

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"You'll worry less about what people think of you
when you realize how seldom they do . . ."
--David Foster Wallace

1) LOOK AT THE HARLEQUINS! Well, it looks like Bella and Edward, er, James and Anastasia, the characters of 50 Shades Of Grey (9780345803481) 15.95 by the pseudonymous E.L. James will be reaching a wider audience. Vintage has bought world English print, digital, and audio rights to republish her erotic romance trilogy. The key to the success of this title was the publicity. Like me, you were probably barraged with calls last week after the author appeared on The Today Show. Originally, it had been posted as Twilight Saga fan fiction from 2009-2011 on various on-line sites; the author has since removed the Stephenie Meyer series references and then had contracted with the Writer's Coffee Shop. Believe it or not, the upcoming edition is already in the Amazon.com Top Ten as a pre-order, so I would be prepared for big sales out of the gate. According to Vintage, we should have copies in early April. Backorder accordingly . . .

2) TRANSPARENT THINGS . . . Most of my father's side of the family, including he, my grandfather, and a couple of uncles worked for the Ford Motor Company at one time or another, so I was bit intrigued when we started having a run on Bryce Hoffman's American Icon: Alan Mulally and the Fight to Save Ford Motor Company (9780307886057) 26.00 yesterday. Of course, most of the sales were from the Detroit area, but this one may have the potential to go national. I believe a lot of people are unaware that Ford was the only American automaker that didn't take any money from the taxpayer funded bailout, and once word gets around, hopefully other businesses will want to see how CEO Alan Mulally pulled this off. We sold out, but we should have more copies by either Friday or Monday . . .

3) SPRING IN FIALTA . . . Spring is in the air, and Sleeping Bear Press has some great new releases to get you in the spirit. They have had prior success with the little state board books, and the latest addition to this series are Little Wisconsin (9781585362097) 9.95 by Kathy-jo Wargin and Matt Napier's Little Canada (9781585361786) 9.95. I was a little disappointed that there was no 'eh?' at the end of the title for Little Canada, but that's probably just me, hoser. They also have a couple of cute hardcovers on the way. What's Looking at You Kid? (9781585367931) 14.95 was written by J.Patrick Lewis, who was recently named the U.S. Children's Poet Laureate. It is replete with spring animals and vivid verse. And finally, as a reminder of winter, Trinka Hakes Noble's The People of Twelve Thousand Winters (9781585365296) 16.95 is also a new release from them. Set before the coming of the white man, she tells the story of a Lenni Lenape boys transition from child to manhood. Good stuff.

Odds & Sods

I've been enjoying Roger Ebert's A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length: More Movies That Suck (9781449410254) 16.99. Man, he can really rip on people . . .

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"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances
you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you . . ."
--Colossians 3:13

1) WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND . . . "A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge," said the Imp. I have been waiting almost a year for George R.R. Martin's The Game of Thrones series on HBO to release on DVD. It finally came out yesterday. The last time I was this excited about a media event is when Star Wars: The Phantom Menace was coming to the movie theatres. I was there on opening night and . . . Let's just say 'hugely disappointed' would be the understatement of the year. So I tried not to get too overly excited about this one. I've only watched two episodes so far (because I'm trying to savor it), but it has exceeded my expectations. If you like fantasy, you should read The Game of Thrones (9780553593716) 8.99 mm & (9780553381689) 17.00 tr. The second season of the series begins April 1. It will be based on the second book, A Clash of Kings (9780345535429) 8.99 mm & (9780345535412) 18.00. Interestingly, the co-creator is David Benioff. He wrote the bestselling novel City of Thieves (9780452295292) 15.00, which traced the lives of several people during the brutal Nazi siege of Leningrad. There was a lot of snow there, too.

Speaking of fantasy-based films, John Carter (9781423165583) 9.99 by Edgar Rice Burroughs will be released world-wide on March 9. We also stock the Collected John Carter of Mars (9781423165590) 16.99, but the title that we have sold the most of has been The Mars Trilogy (9781442423879) 12.99, which consists of the first three titles in the cycle. The only thing I remember about these books were the lurid covers.

Lastly, of course you've heard that Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games will be in theaters on March 23. You might want to check your stock on The Hunger Games (9780439023528) 8.99, Catching Fire (9780439023498) 17.99, and Mickingjay, er, Mockingjay (9780439023511) 17.99 and beef it up a bit. I haven't read the books, but I am intrigued with the movie because Jennifer Lawrence is starring and I thought that she was brilliant in her last film. It was based on Daniel Woodrell's novel Winter's Bone (9780316131612) 13.99. I will warn you that Winter's Bone is not for everyone . . .

2) BOSS, DA PLANE . . . Mark Titus was not a second or third or fourth banana when he played for the OSU Buckeyes in basketaball. In fact, he hardly played at all, but he did score a grand total of nine points in the NCAA, which is more than most of us can say. His new book Don't Put Me in Coach: My Incredible Journey from the End of the Bench to the End of the Bench (9780385535106) 24.95 is starting to sell and it's just in time for March Madness.

Kid's Korner

Around these parts, we can't get enough of Kelly DiPucchio's books, which is a good thing because she stopped by last week and signed our copies of Crafty Chloe (9781442421233) 16.99. As usual, it's a first come, first served basis for autographed titles.

And the hits keep coming! Jonathan Rand must have had a sudden burst of creativity. Not only was Michigan Chiller #15: Calumet Copper Creatures (9781893699663) 5.99 released a couple of months ago, but now we have American Chillers #33: Monster Mosquitoes of Maine (9781893699571) 5.99. Hopefully, his next one will be the Giant Black Flies of the U.P. . . .

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"Way out in Reno, Nevada
Where romance blooms and fades
A great Philadelphia lawyer
Was in love with a Hollywood maid . . ."
--Woodie Guthrie, Philadelphia Lawyer

. . . and, of course, there are many women lawyers who have become bestselling authors, including: Lisa Scottoline, author of Save Me (9780312380793) 14.99, Linda Fairstein, author of Hell Gate (9780451412997) 9.99, and Marcia Clark, author of Guilt By Association (9780316198967) 14.99. Not too long ago, I had dinner with Ms. Clark, and like many of Mr. Heuer's author meals, a great time was had by all. Marcia really has a wicked sense of humor . . .

1) GOING DOWN THE ROAD FEELING BAD . . . The finalists have been named for one of my favourite awards, The Bookseller/Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year. According to prize custodian Horace Bent, "the debate raged so fiercely" during the selection process that instead of the traditional six titles, they went with seven books this year. These are the lucky nominees:

A Century of Sand Dredging in the Bristol Channel: Vol. Two by P. Gosson
Cooking with Poo by Saiyuud Diwong
Estonian Sock Patterns All Around the World by Aino Praakli
The Great Singapore Penis Panic: And the Future of American Mass Hysteria by Scott D. Mendelson
Mr. Andoh's Pennine Diary: Memoirs of a Japanese Chicken Sexer in 1935 Hebden Bridge by Stephen Curry & Takayoshi Andoh
A Taxonomy of Office Chairs by Jonathan Olivares

Congratulations to all of the nominees and may the worst title win . . .

2) HARD, AIN'T IT HARD . . . 'Say ya to da UP, eh?' It may be cold and snowy during those long winter nights in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, so thank the Lord for beer and bars. We are carrying the the first comprehensive guide to the best beer gardens in the UP. It's called Yooper Bars (9780615566214) 19.95 from Whiskey River Publishing Co. It is liberally sprinkled with full colour photos and humorous testimonials. Their book includes locations, drink specials, and each bars' favourite specialty drinks. Also, for those in Minnesota, we have a new one called Minnesota's Best Breweries & Beerpubs (9780299282448) 24.95 by Robin Shepard. This one covers the history, grades the various beers, and gives directions to each unique brewpub. I don't know about you, but I can see a road trip in my future. And I'm calling shotgun. "If the river was whiskey and I was a duck, I'd dive to the bottom and I'd never come up . . ."

Odds & Sods

Legend . . . (Wait for it) . . . dary Michigan gymnastics and cheerleading coach Newt Loken passed away in June of last year. Huron River Press has just released a tribute entitled Newt: The Father of Michigan Men's Gymnastics (9781932399288) 17.95 by Colt Rosenweig. Let's Go Blue!

Pamela Druckerman's Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (9781594203336) 25.95 is back in stock. This title is the perfect antidote to Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (9780143120582) 16.00 for raising happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children . . .