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"You must unlearn what you have learned . . ."
--Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

STONER BILL STRIKES BACK (AGAIN)

I creep down into Double D's dark basement catacombs and I'm overwhelmed with the odor of cheap incense. I peek around the corner and I see Double D sitting Indian style in front of a framed picture of some old guy. The only light in the room comes from a circle of Eat Pray Love^TM candles around the picture.

I'm like, "Duuuuuuuuude, what's goin' on?"

Doctor Delay swivels his head and says quietly, "Hi, Bill, I'm in mourning."

I ask, "Mourning? Is it because former Detroit Tigers and Cincinnati Reds manager Sparky Anderson passed away recently? If so, Partners has a new commemorative book called Sparky Anderson: The Life of a Baseball Legend (9781600785931) 14.95."

"No, Bill, Irvin Kershner, the director of the best Star Wars movie ever, The Empire Strikes Back, died of lung cancer a couple days ago."

In my best Han Solo voice I say, "I know."

Double D looks surprised, "Really?"

"No, not really. I was just imitating that part in Empire when Princess Leia says 'I love you' to Han and Harrison Ford ad-libs . . ."

Double D cuts me off, "Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar with the movie. What's up?"

"Well, I know how you like Oprah, and I thought you might want to hear that she's announcing Oprah Book Club #65 (9780142196588) 20.00 on Monday."

Double D perks up, "Cool. So I guess that means Jonathan Franzen will be on to recap Freedom (9780312600846) 28.00, too."

I add, "I'm thinking so. Also, wha'd'ya think about a canoe trip down the Grand River? I just got this cool book Our Grand Journey: The River We Thought We Knew (9780978505301) 19.99 and the photos look awesome."

Double D looks incredulous, "Seriously? Have you looked outside today? It looks like the planet Hoth out there."

I realize too late that I've talked myself into a cul-de-sac, "As long as the canoe doesn't tip over, we should . . . nevermind."

There's an awkward silence.

Gamely, I continue, "So did you see the new trailer for the HBO series The Game of Thrones (9780553573404) 7.99 by George R.R. Martin? It looks pretty sweet. In fact, it looks kinda Lord of the Ringish. There's no Elvish babes, but whoever plays Cersei looks really hot."

(You can see it here: http://www.slashfilm.com/tv-trailer-game-thrones/ )

There's another awkward silence.

I'm like, "So you wanna watch The Empire Strikes Back on DVD?"

Doctor Delay breaks into a grin, "Duuuuuuuude, get out of my mind."

We race up the stairs and I say, "I call the beanbag chair!"

Odds & Sods

Susan Hertel of Grand Haven is excited about Sarah Kallio's The Stocked Kitchen (9780982356319) 27.00. This is not merely a cookbook, but a cooking system. No matter what the occasion, you will have the perfect ingredients on-hand to make the perfect meal . . .

For our Northern friends, we had Joan Steffend's inspirational And She Sparkled (9780931674839) 16.95 come back in today. And Michael Nordskog's The Opposite of Cold: The Northwoods Finnish Sauna Tradition (9780816656820) 34.95 should be here in the next day or two. Hmmm, Finnish Sauna Tradition, you just can't make this stuff up . . .