Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Ye Olde Partners Page

*News From the Glamorous World of Bookselling*

"In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? 'Los submarinos.'"
--Tallahassee from Zombieland
I was surprised at how accurate the TV show based on The Walking Dead #1 (9781582406725) 9.99 really was.

Like Rudy Waltz from Kurt Vonnegut's Deadeye Dick (9780385334174) 14.00, I'm taking potshots with my rifle from the upstairs window of my non-descript house. Unlike Rudy, I'm purposely trying to shoot the zombies wandering around in the daylight on my street. Yeah, you read right -- Zombies. To put them down, you need to hit them with a good, clean headshot. Usually, the undead aren't too active during the daylight hours, but then, loud sounds seem to attract them. Like in Guillermo Del Toro's The Strain (9780061558245) 9.99 and the sequel The Fall (9780061558221) 26.99, the pathogen seems to be some sort of virus that is transmitted either through infected saliva or the blood. I know they were actually vampires in Del Toro's books and Justin Cronin's The Passage (9780345504968) 27.00, but it seems to work the same way. In other words, don't get bitten.


(A zombie head explodes like a watermelon in a bad Gallagher skit.)

"Sorry, John. But it's for the best," I mumble.

It happened so fast. I think it was Wednesday night when I was half-watching former President George W. Bush on Bill O'Reilly's show; he was promoting his new book Decision Points (9780307590619) 35.00, and then the Civil Defense Warning thing kicked in. I put down my copy of Stephen King's Full Dark, No Stars (9781439192566) 27.99 and listened. Paraphrasing here, the CDC basically told civilians to stay in their homes. I looked out my window and I saw that a lot of my neighbors were milling around outside. Some of them were cradling rifles and I could hear gunfire in the distance.

I reloaded my rifle.


(Mrs. Wilson's head snaps backwards and she crumples onto the concrete.)

I know I should probably head for the country, but it wouldn't be right for me to leave my friends and neighbors like this. I hope that they would have done the same for me. I notice my little sister's book on the floor. It's called Zombies Vs. Unicorns (9781416989530) 16.99. I pick the book up, whip it at the wall, and scream, "This ain't a joke!"

I wait for the hyperventilating and the shakes to stop. Then I reload again.


Who would have thought a librarian would last this long in the Zombie Apocalypse? Certainly not me . . .

What Zombies might look like . . .
Schuler Books 2nd Annual Zombie Party

Odds & Sods

The lovely and vivacious Melissa Del La Cruz stopped in here last week to sign copies of her latest book, Misguided Angel (9781423121282) 16.99. As usual, it's first come, first served . . .

Former President George W. Bush's Decision Points has been big so far, but Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth (9780810984912) 13.95 has been selling copy for copy. In fact, it's doing so well, you might want to check his backlist . . .

Surprise local bestseller Dan Austin's Lost Detroit: Stories behind the Motor City's Majestic Ruins (9781596299405) 24.99 should be back in stock in about two days. Backorder accordingly.

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