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"There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be President . . ."
--Kurt Vonnegut

C-SPAN PRESENTS: THE 6 O'CLOCK BOOK NEWS

S.J.: Hi, I'm Sedimentary Jones with today's book news. Amazon.com announced this morning that they have sold a larger unknown quantity of their e-reader, The Kindle, this year than the unknown quantity of Kindles that they had sold last year. Their CEO Jeff Bezos said that Amazon.com hopes to sell a larger unknown quantity of Kindles in the upcoming year. Here's my co-anchor Jon Metamorphic with his segment on Contrast and Burn . . .

J.M.: Thanks, Sandy. Today we have a tale of two titles. Pauline Maier, author of Ratification: The People Debate the Constitution (9780684868547) 30.00 is the William R. Kenan Jr. Professor of American History at MIT, was a Fulbright scholar at the London School of Economics, and has a Ph.D. from Harvard University. On the other hand, we have Broke (9781439187197) 29.99 by Fox News host and high school graduate Glenn Beck, who gives us his interpetation of the U.S. Constitution. Which one will sell better? Call us at 1-800-123-4567 to vote for Ms. Maier's title or 1-800-123-4568 for Mr. Beck.

S.J.: Thanks, Jon. As I'm sure you're all aware, the memoir Decision Points (9780307590619) 35.00 by former President George W. Bush will be released on November 9. What you may not know is that 'The Decider' will kick off his book tour on the Oprah Winfrey Show on the same day. Is this a sign of the Apocalypse? I'm not sure, but I can guarantee you that I will be attending church on the prior Sunday. On a related note, Jonathan 'Franzen Comes Alive' Franzen, author of Freedom (9780312600846) 28.00 was seen Monday at the executive mansion. President Obama made news earlier this year when he received an ARC of Freedom at the Bunch of Grapes bookstore. Mr. Franzen was quoted as saying that the visit was 'delightful.' Back to you Jon . . .

J.M.: Speaking of 'Franzen Comes Alive', Keith Richards is still alive. The Rolling Stones guitarist who had ingested his share of drugs, and your share, and my share, has released a new memoir that features rare photographs from his history-making band. The book is entitled Life (9780316034388) 29.99. In an interview last week on CBS This Morning, he was asked, "Did you have a problem with drugs?" Mr. Richards answered, "No, but the police sure did." (Both news anchors guffaw.) His book is now available at all fine bookstores. So that's all for this week. Have a good night with good news . . .

Odds & Sods

"When the moon is in the Seventh House, And Jupiter aligns with Mars, Then books will guide the planets, And November 2 releases will steer the stars . . ."

Simple Times

by Amy Sedaris

(9780446557030) 27.99

Moonlight Mile

by Dennis Lehane

(9780061836923) 26.99

Towers of Midnight

by Robert Jordan

(9780765325945) 29.99

Atlantic

by Simon Winchester

(9780061702587) 27.99

Edge: A Novel

by Jeffery Deaver

(9781439156353) 26.99

"Aquarius! Aquarius!"

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"Look. There are only two truly great science fiction movies. The first is Stanley Kubrick's 2001, written in collaboration with Arthur C. Clarke. The second is Blade Runner, directed by Ridley Scott and adapted from Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. You may disagree with this statement. You would be wrong. Let's move on . . ."
--Damien Walter, Book Blog

1) DATA'S HEAD . . . If there was one writer that I could go back in time to see and have a conversation with in my Hot Tub Time Machine, it would be without a doubt -- Mark Twain. Now after a hundred years, we are finally getting that opportunity with the release of the Autobiography of Mark Twain Vol. 1 (9780520267190) 34.95. Granted, it's a pretty one-sided conversation, but I suspect that Mr. Twain wouldn't want it any other way. Of course, being kind of a geek, I need to read his book to see if he addresses his visit with Star Trek: The Next Generation's Captain Picard and Guinan. Also, as a known cynic, I want to see if he was as really taken with the future of humanity in the 24th century as he claimed to be on the show. Surprisingly, pre-orders of this title had put it at #1 on Amazon.com, so take that James Patterson. We are already out of stock, but we are expecting more copies early next week. As Jean-Luc Picard once said, "Reports of my assimilation have been greatly exaggerated."

2) VACUUM CLEANER . . . I'm not sure what's happened to Johnathan Rand, but this makes two books in a row that have arrived early. The latest one is American Chiller #30: Vicious Vacuums of Vermont (9781893699250) 5.99, which we are expecting in copious quantities today. The product description reads: 'Brooke Whipkey is in big trouble (in little China). While helping her uncle in his repair shop she and a friend invent a vacuum robot that goes crazy!' Need I say more . . .

3) SNOW ANIMALS . . . Our friends at Sleeping Bear Press have a couple of great children's books featured in this year's GLiBA Holiday Catalogue. Jane Monroe Donovan, who wrote and illustrated Winter's Gift (9781585362318) 16.95, has returned this year with Small Medium & Large (9781585364473) 15.95. It's Christmas and a little girl asks Santa for just one gift: A friend to share her holiday. The answer is sure to bring a tear to your eye. I'm always a sucker for a dog book and First Dog's White House Christmas (9781585365036) 15.95 by J. Patrick Lewis and Beth Zappitello is no exception. The First Dog is back and he's globe trotting to see how dogs in other countries celebrate their holidays. Both of these books are sure to be annual holiday bestsellers, so jump on your Rhodesian Ridgeback and order your copies today . . .

4) WHAT'S HER NAME . . . Belva Plain passed away earlier this week at the age of 95. As always, our heartfelt condolences go out to her friends and family.

2010 Holiday Catalog

It's that time of year again . . . Partners 2010 Holiday Catalog Special
Orders placed from the 2010 GLiBA Holiday Catalogs are eligible for a 43% discount and one return without penalty.
Terms of order special:
--One order only
--Order must be marked 'Catalog Special'
--25 assorted book minimum
Terms of return special:
--One return may be made of titles from the Catalog Special invoice
--Return and packing list must be marked 'Catalog Special'
--Return must be received by 1/31/11

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"Once confined to fantasy and science fiction,
time travel is now simply an engineering problem . . ."
--Michio Kaku, Wired Magazine

1) MASTODONIA (1978) . . . "It must be some kind of Hot Tub Time Machine." Starting with George Pal's The Time Machine, I've always been fascinated by time travel and its implications. Dewey, a manager at Schuler's Books likes to present hypothetical questions to the staff, for example: Who is your favourite Beatle? For me it was Paul when I was young, John Lennon in my teen years, and finally it would be George Harrison at this moment in time. George helped a lot of people out over the years. My Deweyesque question is this: If you had a time machine would you go into the future or the past? For me it would be the past. I would love to see Constantinople circa 600 A.D. In Clifford D. Simak's Mastodonia people do go back in time to start their own country in the Pleistocene era, which leads me to Michael Savage and his new title Trickle Up Poverty (9780062010971) 26.99. Believe it or not, this is probably our bestselling title right now. I would give a time machine to Michael Savage, Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, and their ilk and they could make their own perfect country in the Pleistocene. It would be a win - win for everyone . . .

2) WHERE THE EVIL DWELLS (1982) . . . I have seen the face of evil and it is Justin Bieber. The already legendary pop star has a new autobiography entitled Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever (9780062039743) 21.99 and it sure to be a bestseller for the pre-teen crowd. Myself, I would take my time machine and find the young Bieber's grandfather. I would then offer him an unconditional one way ticket to our prehistoric past. Viola! Problem solved . . . What the face of evil might look like...

3) OUT OF THEIR MINDS (1970) . . . Becky, our children's book buyer pointed out a great parody of The Giving Tree (9780060256654) 16.99. The Taking Tree (9781442407633) 16.99 is the first children's book that has made me laugh out loud (LOL) in a long time. If Ayn Rand of Atlas Shrugged (9780451191144) 9.99 fame had written a kid's book, this would have been it. In fact, we could take our time machine, swing by 1930 or so, and whisk Ayn off to our Pleistocene colony before she could write any of her books . . .


4) SPECIAL DELIVERANCE (1982) . . . Also, if I could go back in time, I would love to see Detroit Red Wings and Chicago Blackhawk enforcer Bobby Probert beat the crap out of opposing hockey players. Alas, Mr. Probert passed away this past summer, but not before he finished his autobiography Tough Guy (9781600785627) 24.95. Bobby, you will be missed . . .

Odds & Sods

GLiBA was this weekend and it was great to see all my old friends. Blue Balliet, author of The Danger Box (9780439852098) 16.99 was one of the featured luncheon authors. I hadn't realized that her book dealt with Charles Darwin's missing notebooks. We also have signed copies of her book available . . .

My favourite was author Paul Clemens, who sat next to me at the luncheon and wrote Made in Detroit (9781400075966) 13.95. It was a Great Lakes Book Award winner in 2005. His new book, Punching Out (9780385521154) 24.95 isn't due out until January, but I do have a limited amount of ARCs if anyone is interested . . .

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"They say the immigrants steal the hubcaps
Of the respected gentlemen
They say it would be wine an' roses
If England were for Englishmen again . . ."
--The Clash, Something About England

B. TRAVEN JR. -- CONSPIRACY THEORIST AT LARGE

B. Traven Jr. here. You may remember me from the History Channel's ratings blockbuster 9/11 Conspiracies: Fact or Fiction, and I bet you can guess what side of the fence I fell on. It certainly wasn't the voice of reason. Ha, ha! Actually I was going over Dave Goldberg's calculations for a space trip to the Earth-like planet Zarmina when Mick called. He said he was packing for GLiBA this weekend and asked if I would write the Partners Page. I said sure but asked if he knew that a matter-antimatter space drive could allow humans to reach this planet in 22.4 years. Mick then claimed that a matter-antimatter space drive does not even exist. I said, "Balderdash!" It has been well-documented that scientists have reverse engineered this space drive from the alien vessel that crashed at Roswell. Ha, ha!

The Social Network is the #1 movie in the country and it is based on Ben Mezrich's book, The Accidental Billionaires (9780307740984) 15.95. Mark Zuckerberg became the 'Accidental Billionaire' with the creation of Facebook. Sorry, Ben, as we well know, there are no 'Accidental Billionaires.' Billionaires can only be made with the approval of their fellow Bilderberg members. Ha, ha!

David Sedaris' new book is Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk (9780316038393) 21.99, which may sound humorous to you, but it's not as far-fetched as you may think. I have proof that geneticists in Sri Lanka have spliced together both squirrel and chipmunk DNA. I believe they called it a Chuirrel. In fact, I know that several of the animals have escaped the test facility and it has become a real-life Island of Dr. Moreau (9780553214321) 4.95 down there. True story.

Meanwhile in merry ol' England, Shelf-Awareness reports: "Jonathan Franzen's overseas tour started bizarrely last week with the recall of Freedom's (9780374158460) 28.00 first UK printing, then got really interesting when a man stole the author's glasses during a book launch in London and then subsequently demanded a US$158,856 ransom. BBC News reported that a 27-year-old man was arrested after a chase that included a helicopter and ended with the glasses thief jumping into the Serpentine lake in London. He 'has since been released with no further action being taken and the glasses have been recovered . . .'" Sounds like there's a book in there someplace. And there is no truth to the rumour that B. Traven Jr. was involved in this caper at all. Ha, ha!

And remember as Robert Heinlein said, "Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny."

Odds & Sods

Blue Balliett, author of the bestselling YA title Chasing Vermeer (9780439372978) 7.99 will be stopping by today to sign copies of her latest book, The Danger Box (9780439852098) 16.99. As usual they will be available on a first come, first served basis.

Vince Flynn's latest American Assassin (9781416595182) 27.99 goes on sale October 12. Fortunately B. Traven Jr. didn't notice this one or we would have had the longest Partners Page ever.

James Archambeault has released Kentucky III (9780929818399) 45.00. As usual his celebration of The Bluegrass State in photos is gorgeous . . .