Thursday, May 13, 2010

Ye Olde Partners Page

*News From the Glamorous World of Bookselling*

"I respect all religious belief systems.
That's why they've all condemned me to Hell . . ."
(Please read this in a phony British accent.)

"Hello, my fellow fans of fame and fortune, I'm Robin Leech and I am your host for the 'Book Deals of the Rich & Famous.' We have an exceptionally exciting show in store for you today. I joined fabulous former First Lady Laura 'Don't call me Barbara' Bush at her Fortress of Solitude, the Bush Ranch in Crawford, TX. As I wended my way up their private drive in my Alfa Romeo GT, I was astounded to see how little brush there is on the Bush family estate. Mrs. Bush met me at the door in a Darius Cordell Couture designed evening gown. We sat on the veranda in Versace chairs, sampled Darjeeling tea, and discussed her blockbuster bestseller Spoken From the Heart (9781439155202) 30.00. She did mention that she is promoting her possible Pulitzer Prize publication on Fox & Friends tomorrow. I suggested she bring a tarp with all the salivating that is sure to ensue from co-hosts Steve, Gretchen, and Brian. Wouldn't want her to slip and fall, would we?

We have learned that super sensational supermodel Tyra Banks has signed a book deal with delicious Delacorte Press to write a three book series. Top Model Tyra has already finished the first one, Modelland, which is 'about a teen girl in a make-believe society at an academy for exceptional models called Intoxibellas. [It's] for all the boys and girls who want a lot more fantasy in their lives . . .' Well, the first rule of writing is to write what you know about and she certainly lives in a fantasy world. Head's up Delacorte, you might want to stock up on computer keyboards because Tyra will wear out the 'I' key. Look for this Children's Book Choice Award winner in 2011.

Harper Collins did so well the first time around that they will publish another big, healthy helping of America's Sweetheart Sarah Palin. Whether the former Alaskan governor is shooting wolves from a helicopter or tearing the hearts out of liberals with her barehands, Ms. Palin is always sporting the latest in top of the line flag fashion. Her latest literary tour de force is called America By Heart: Reflections of Family, Faith and Flag (9780062010964) 25.99, and it is scheduled for release on November 23. This flibbertigibbeted fashionista will be both flabbergasted and flummoxed, or flat out flattened, if this flowering Fannie Flagg flirts with florescent flora flouncing fluffy fluid flounders for flippant flip-floppers. *Whew*

Next week we'll join Dave Barry in mesmerizing Miami Beach at the exclusive Key Largo Grande Beach Resort to talk about I'll Mature When I'm Dead (9780399156502) 24.95.

And to all, champagne wishes and cavier dreams . . .

Odds & Sods

We have two-for-the- price-of-one shrink wrapped Mad Libs available at $3.99 a piece. They are:

Mad Libs From Space (9780843130881)
Mad Libs Slam Dunk (9780843131475)
Son of Mad Libs (9780843131307)
Upside Down Mad Libs (9780843131284)
Camp Daze (9780843131314)
Pirates Mad Libs (9780843131291)
Sooper Dooper (9780843131499)
Mad Libs in Love (9780843131444)
Grab Bag Mad Libs (9780843131468)
Diva Girl (Tyra Banks) (9780843131451)
Original Mad Libs (9780843131482)

Good Luck, Jim Heuer!

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